Ep 422 – The Approval Tax: Why Being Liked Is Costing You Millions
This is the 2nd part of the Hidden Taxes That Are Costing Your Millions Series
This episode is powered by The Ascension Archetype Quiz.
Being the entrepreneur everybody loves isn't necessarily a compliment. It might be the reason you're underpaid. If clients rave about you, everybody says you're "so easy to work with," you routinely give more than people paid for, and you're still wondering why your business isn't producing the profit it should, your generosity may not be generosity at all. It may be insurance. Insurance against criticism. Insurance against rejection. Insurance against someone deciding you're too expensive, too demanding, too much, or simply not for them. And every time you make a business decision designed to keep somebody else comfortable, there's a charge. I call it The Approval Tax, and you may be shocked by how much you've already paid.
You can be booked, busy, beloved and still be painfully underpaid. And if you've been telling yourself you simply need a better pricing strategy, stronger boundaries, more confidence or another business growth tactic, I need you to consider something else: What if you've built parts of your business around being chosen instead of being properly compensated? In part two of the Hidden Taxes Series, we're unpacking the Approval Tax, the invisible price entrepreneurs pay through over-delivering, underpricing, people pleasing, perfectionism, over-explaining and avoiding the very conversations that seven-figure leadership requires. Because when your need for validation starts setting your prices, determining your boundaries and deciding which version of your work gets released into the world, approval isn't just costing you peace. It's costing you profit, authority, impact and potentially your legacy.
Here’s the truth: you can be the most beloved expert in your industry and still be the most underpaid. Being liked becomes a liability when your need for approval starts making business decisions for you.
You’ll walk away with you'll walk away with a completely different way to examine what you may have been calling excellence, generosity, service and high standards. Most importantly, you'll understand why the work of becoming a 7-figure CEO isn't simply learning to charge more. It's becoming the leader who no longer needs somebody else's approval to believe she's worth more..
Grab your Move to Millions Podcast Notebook, a pen and your favorite beverage and listen in to discover:
✔ How to recognize whether you're leading from survival instead of true security
✔ How to identify the invisible behaviors quietly taxing your capacity for millions
✔ How to begin building the internal safety required to sustain lasting wealth
✔And so much more
This episode is a call to stop confusing being liked with being valuable. If someone else’s approval is influencing your pricing, boundaries, or leadership decisions, they have more power in your business than they should.
This is your invitation to audit where you’ve made yourself cheaper, quieter, busier, or easier to keep someone else comfortable. Because being chosen is expensive when it requires abandoning yourself.
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- “Over-delivering is not a gift. It is a bid. You are buying their approval with your time."
- "Every extra word is a small request for approval. Saying more doesn't increase your power. It reduces your authority."
- "Every yes you give from fear is a no you are saying to your own priorities."
- "Perfectionism is not a standard. It is a hiding place with excellent lighting."
- “You do not need to be chosen, because you have already been called. And hear me when I tell you that the called, they do not audition.”
- How much of my business have I built for validation instead of income and impact?
- Where am I giving more because I genuinely desire to serve, and where am I giving more because I'm afraid of disappointing someone?
- What price, boundary or decision would change immediately if I no longer needed everyone to like it?
- What am I calling "excellence" that might actually be perfectionism protecting me from criticism?
- What part of my calling am I withholding because delivering it fully might require someone to disapprove of me?
- Take the Move to Millions Ascension Archetype Quiz
- Join the Waitlist for Sanctuary
- Apply for a Soul + Strategy Conversation
- Move to Millions: The Proven Framework To Become a Million Dollar CEO With Grace & Ease Instead of Hustle & Grind by Dr. Darnyelle Jervey Harmon – Get Your Copy
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- Move to Millions 90-Day Business Growth Planner – Get Your Planner
- Why I took a Gap Year
Personal brand website: https://drdarnyelle.com/
Company website: https://incredibleoneenterprises.com/
Move to Millions website: https://movetomillions.com/
Sign number one, you over-deliver. You give them three times what they paid for, not from generosity, from insurance. Because if you give them so much, they can never be disappointed, which means they won't talk bad about you online, which means that you don't have to ever risk their disapproval, and you don't have to wonder if they're gonna say anything that you wouldn't want said about you
Welcome to the Move to Millions podcast. Each week we explore the intersection of business growth, neuroscience, money and wealth consciousness, leadership, and spiritual alignment so that you can build a business that funds your legacy without fragmenting your life. I'm Dr. Darnyelle, best-selling author and creator of the Move to Millions method.
And if there's one thing I'm clear about, it's that the Move to Millions is not just about business growth. It is an evolution of who you are and how you lead, and trust me when I tell you that until you are safe and secure in your relationships with yourself, [00:01:00] money, wealth, and success, your move to millions is indeed in jeopardy.
My job is to equip you to become your very own sanctuary for soul and strategy success. This is the Move to Millions podcast. Welcome home.
Before we dive into this week's episode, let me ask you something real quick. If this podcast has ever made you think deeper, shift something in your spirit, or take bold, bankable action in your business, would you do me a favor? Would you take a moment and scroll down and leave us a rating or review?
Listen, that's how we grow this message and get it into the ears of more seven-figure CEOs and seven-figure CEOs in the making. Your words matter. Your support matters. So please take a moment to go ahead, rate, review, and then come right back because this episode is about to shift everything. You are [00:02:00] the one everyone loves to work with.
You over-deliver, you always say yes, you make it so easy, and you never make anyone feel uncomfortable. And at the same time, you are quietly the most underpaid person in your industry. Now, I know I'm coming in hot, and those two things, just so we're clear, are not a coincidence. They are merely cause and effect.
You've built a business that everyone loves, and that is the very reason why no one is paying you what you deserve to earn for the valuable services that you render to the market. That, my friend, is not a marketing problem. That is what I like to call the approval tax Welcome back to the series where we are auditing the eight hidden taxes that never show up on a financial statement, but are quietly draining your capacity for wealth, leadership, impact, and good old-fashioned peace.
In the first part of our series, we started at the [00:03:00] root with the survival tax. You know, why success still does not feel safe. And if you have not yet watched it, I highly recommend that you go back because this series is gonna build on one another. Because today, we are moving on to the second tax. And let me just be very clear, this one is sneaky because it does not feel like a fear or something that would be a problem.
It actually feels like you're just being a good old-fashioned benevolent person. In this episode, we are talking all about the approval tax. You know, the hidden cost of needing to be validated and chosen by other people. Here's what I mean. Every single time you betray yourself just a little to keep someone else comfortable, you, my friend, are paying a tax.
And every single time you discount your prices in order to get the yes, yup, you're paying a tax. Every single time you over-deliver and [00:04:00] call it what is necessary for them to be impressed or to justify the investment, a tax is being applied. And every time you swallow the hard conversation so that no one is upset, yup, you're taxed.
Because every time you tweak just one more thing before you let anyone see it, there is a tax that you are paying. And the worst part about all of this is that you are paying these taxes in your body, and they are impacting your ability to go to your next level. And you have to understand that the bill comes due in places that you cannot afford.
I'm talking about your revenue, your energy, your time not available for your family, and your authority. Because a business that is built to be liked can never charge what a business that is built to be respected can actually charge. Now, there's a question that is running underneath this entire episode, and it is one that I want you to be thinking about the entire [00:05:00] time that you listen or watch, and the question is simply this: How much of your business was built for validation instead of income and impact?
You are watching or listening to the Move to Millions podcast. I am your host, Dr. Darnyelle, award-winning CEO of Incredible One Enterprises and the creator of several powerful business growth frameworks, systems, and powerful ways to help you shift and change the way you move to and beyond the million-dollar mark, including our powerful Move to Millions method.
Our work has helped 85 CEOs just like you since late 2021 experience their first or next seven-figure year. This is part two of our latest series, The Hidden Taxes That Are Keeping You From Making, Moving, and Leaving Millions. Now, if you are tired of being the best-kept secret, [00:06:00] if you are tired of being the lowest-paid expert in your space, I wanna invite you to anchor in because this hidden tax series is the series you didn't even know you needed at a time that will change everything for you Now, as I was preparing for this episode, a specific client came to mind.
Now, I am going to keep her personal details private, but if you are also paying the approval tax, trust me when I say you are going to recognize yourself in everything, uh, that I tell you about her. She was, by every external measure, a success. She was booked and busy. She was booked solid. She held a waiting list.
She had testimonials that read like love letters. She was the most beloved consultant in her whole entire industry, to hear her say it. People adored her because she gave them everything. She answered every text message, no matter what time it came through. She threw in extra [00:07:00] deliverables. She stayed on calls for extra hours on end, and she never raised her rates because she could not bear the thought of anyone being disappointed in her and therefore not continuing to work with her.
She had a renewing client rate of 100%, but that honestly is not a badge of honor. That means you're not charging enough. She was exhausted. She was stalled at low six figures, and you already know that I believe that low six figures is small business poverty. Although she was booked solid, she was barely profitable because she had built her entire business in order to be liked and loved instead of being profitable and creating real impact, first and foremost for herself and her family, and ultimately for the ripple effect out in the world.
She may have been the most beloved consult in her industry, but she was also the most underpaid. Now, when she came to me, she [00:08:00] was significantly undercharging and thought, honestly, she just had a pricing problem. She thought if she could get me to show her how to raise her prices, she'd be great. But that was not her problem.
What she had was an approval problem that was showing up in the way she priced her products and services. Her low prices, over-delivering, her inability to say no, all of it was creating a big problem for her, and it was highlighting her need to be validated and chosen by others. Hey, I hate to interrupt the goodness that's happening right now in this episode, but I need you to do me a quick favor.
If this episode is blessing your life and business right now, will you take a few moments and rate and review the show? Your words help more millions-minded entrepreneurs find us and step into their next level. All right. Thank you so much. Let's get back into the conversation 'cause
Speaker 2: we're just getting started.
Speaker: One of the first things we did when we started working together was I audited her business, starting with her [00:09:00] offers. She was basically giving clients access to everything that she had in one program at a price point that was at least three times too low. And she was not priced low for the volume play that makes low pricing okay.
She was priced low because she thought that that was all her products and services were worth. Now, I could see it so clearly in her because I have lived that myself in my early years in business. You always know I'm gonna keep it real with you, and I'm not gonna act like I woke up like this, running a portfolio that's valued at over eight figures.
Now, in my earlier seasons of business I wanted to be liked as much as the next person. Listen, any client was better than no clients at all, so I purposely underpriced my services for fear of rejection. I over-delivered to the point of my personal resentment and exhaustion, and I explained my prices like I needed permission to [00:10:00] charge the pennies on the dollar that I was actually charging back in the day.
Now, I held things back that were ready because I was waiting for them to be perfect, which really meant I was waiting for them to be approved by someone else, and I was waiting for them to be beyond criticism. I was running a business that was performing for approval, and I was trying to call it excellence so that I would not have to call it fear.
Listen, I'm not proud of this time in my trajectory, but I also know that this time is what makes me qualified to talk to you about the approval tax. And when I tell you that it is expensive, know that I am not spouting theory because I have paid it myself. And I'm gonna show you the exact line items that you have been paying so that you can once and for all get rid of this tax.
Now, before you tell yourself that this is just a you problem, let me show you that this is actually a [00:11:00] generational epidemic, and according to research, it is actually getting worse. There is a major meta-analysis published in the American Psychological Association's journal, Psychological Bulletin. The researchers looked at more than 40,000 people over almost three decades, and they found that one specific kind of perfectionism has been climbing steadily.
Now, in the report, they call it socially prescribed perfectionism. But in plain English, what they're really saying is it is the belief that other people expect you to be perfect, whether they actually do or not, and that you will only be accepted if you are indeed perfect. That form of perfectionism, the approval-driven kind, rose by 33%.
It increased more than any other type of perfectionism that this particular study measured. We [00:12:00] are measurably more terrified of other people's judgment than the generation before us ever was And here is the part of the study that the lead researcher shared that I have been thinking about nonstop since I actually read the study.
He said, "People now feel that perfectionism is necessary in order to feel safe, socially connected, and of worth." What you talking about, Willis? Perfectionism is not about having high standards. It is fear, lack, and scarcity that are masquerading as likability in a designer suit waiting to be approved before it will let you be seen.
And let me tell you, perfectionism is costing you more than you even know. Now let me be serious for a moment. The only way to stop paying this tax is for you to do the inner work to come to a place within yourself where you know that you know that you know that you are safe, [00:13:00] you are connected, and you are worthy.
No one else is going to be able to validate your worth This is not new, nor has it ever been about chasing perfection. In fact, you shouldn't be chasing anything. This is about opening yourself up to being safe, to feeling safe, to belonging, and worth, and worthiness. And if that feels foreign to you, it's because you have decided somewhere deep down that being flawless is how you earn being loved, and liked, and worthy.
Which means perfectionism was never really about the work that you do, it was always about approval. And this is what I wanna help you understand. It is just approval pointed inward, right? Seriously, if you have been following me over the last five years or so, you will notice that my work took a big shift around that time that we relaunched as Move to Millions.
Now, listen, I'm a strategist through and through, and [00:14:00] I love giving people strategies that will produce revenue. That's my jam. I can do it all day long with my hands tied behind my back without even blinking. But what I also started to notice is that the good strategies that I was sharing with clients and students were not having the original intended impact because they had inner turmoil that was blocking the external results from shining through.
And that is when I recognized the significance of beginning to do the work at the soul level, and that we needed to work at our soul at three times the rate we focus on our strategy. And since we started focusing on soul and soul leadership, it has been a game changer. And now I have a full body of work in my Sanctuary programs, Sanctuary Core and Sanctuary Business, that I'm able to support you through to do the soul work that will explode the strategy that you desire to take your business to and beyond the seven-figure mark.
I'll talk a little bit more about [00:15:00] Sanctuary Core in a little while. But for now, I just wanna make all of this information really practical for you, because information without application is a waste of time for both you and me. If you've been doing all the right things but still feel like you're carrying more weight than you should, it's not your strategy, it's your pattern.
There's a hidden way that you lead that's shaping your money, your success, and your peace, and until you see it, you'll keep working harder than you have to. The Ascension Archetypes Quiz shows you in just three minutes what's been driving your business behind the scenes and what needs to shift so that you can finally experience the overflow you're desiring.
It's fast, it's free, and it will give you the language for why things feel harder than they should right now. Go now to movetomillionsquiz.com to find out which archetype is running your business today My best-selling book, Move to Millions: The Proven Framework to [00:16:00] Become a Million Dollar CEO with Grace and Ease Instead of Hustle and Grind, is now available on Audible.
That's right, you can listen to nugget after nugget, strategy after strategy, and chapter after chapter designed to help you to position your business for seven figures with grace and ease instead of hustle and grind. Go to Audible today to get your Audible copy of
Speaker 2: Move to Millions
Speaker: So I wanna share six signs with you that will help you to understand if you have been running your business based on the approval tax or not.
Now, I want you to notice which ones land in your body, and I want you to notice specifically where in your body land, right? If it's your upper body, if it's your lower back, if it's your gut, if it's your knee. Pay attention to all of them. Sign number one: you over-deliver. You give them three times what they pay for, not from generosity, from insurance.
Because if [00:17:00] you give them so much, they can never be disappointed, which means they won't talk bad about you online, which means that you don't have to ever risk their disapproval, and you don't have to wonder if they're gonna say anything that you wouldn't want said about you. But here's what I need you to understand.
Over-delivering is not a gift. It is a bid. You are buying their approval with your time, and you are the one who will go bankrupt in the exchange. And let me be clear, I am all for going above and beyond, but it depends on your come from. Are you doing it because you are abundance, or are you doing it because you are lack and scarcity?
Do you see the difference? Sign number two: you over-explain. Listen, you are the king or queen of justification. You're justifying your prices. You're justifying your existence. You justify why you got the copy on your website. You give three reasons for your no. You write the paragraph when [00:18:00] just a word or a sentence would do.
You do know no is a complete sentence, right? Over-explaining is what we do when we have not given ourselves permission to stand boldly and flat-footed in our decision. Every extra word is a small request for approval. Saying more doesn't increase your power. It reduces your authority. Sign number three: you cannot say no.
Like, the word is not even in your vocabulary, although no is the very first word you learned as a child. Your yes is automatic, and the resentment shows up not much later. You say yes to the client, to the favor, to the podcast, to the committee, to the discount because no feels like you are letting someone down, and being someone who lets people down makes you feel unsafe in your body.
So you say yes at the sacrifice of yourself, always choosing [00:19:00] yourself last, despite every flight attendant in the world telling you to secure your mask before you help those on the journey with you. You call it being a servant, but it is really about not valuing yourself enough to recognize when the right answer for everyone is no And every yes you give from fear is a no you are saying to your own priorities.
You are just not there to watch that bill arrive Sign number four, underpricing. Now this, if you ask me, is one of the most expensive signs of the approval tax because it is the one that shows up in your bank account, in your retirement accounts, in the legacy you wanna be able to leave to your children and your children's children.
Now, you set your prices low enough that they will get you a yes, which means that you priced your work to be liked instead of to be valued. And here's the part that I wanna make sure you understand. Low prices [00:20:00] don't just cost you money, they cost you respect because people believe they get what they pay for.
People unconsciously assume that the cheaper option is the lesser option, and you, without even realizing it, have taught them to undervalue you and then you wonder why they did indeed undervalue you. And to be clear, there's nothing wrong with a low pricing strategy, especially when it is indeed a strategy.
Now, in order for a low pricing strategy to be acceptable, it has to be tied to a volume play. Think Planet Fitness, $10 or $15 dollars a month, they've got a huge marketing budget and even more people paying them that $10 or $15 dollars a month. Now, if you resonate with this as a sign, you're probably not running a volume play, you are just underpriced.
Sign number five, you avoid the hard conversations, the rate that needs to go up, the client who needs to be released to their [00:21:00] best and highest good, the team members who need to be given feedback or that need to lose their job, the boundary that needs to be set. You let them fester for months because the conversation risks disapproval, and their disapproval feels more expensive than your own exhaustion.
But can we be clear? It is not. Every hard conversation that you avoid is making you pay a tax daily with compounded interest. And sign number six, you never finish anything. This is the perfectionist trap in the face of the perfectionist's need for approval. You tweak it endlessly. You delay the launch.
You refine the thing that was ready three versions ago, and you call it having high standards. But let me ask you the question that I started with at the top of this episode. What is the perfection protecting you from? Is it protecting you from [00:22:00] judgment? Because as long as it's not finished, it cannot be criticized, and as long as you are still trying to figure it out and polish it up, no one can tell you that it's not good enough.
Perfectionism is not a standard. It is a hiding place with excellent lighting. Seriously, if you need the approval of other people, your business is not going to hit seven figures. Now, if three or more of these landed for you, I want you to hear me. You do not have a discipline problem. You do not have a pricing problem.
You, my friend, have an approval problem, and that problem is leaking into every area of your business. This hidden tax is costing you more than you have appropriated to it in the budget, and no new funnel will fix a leak that is coming from your need to be validated by someone else. God said, "Before you were formed in your [00:23:00] mother's womb, I knew you.
I approved you. I called you Prophet." Hear Him. Now, let me tell you what this tax is actually costing you, because a sign is just a symptom, and I don't want you to walk away from this episode feeling like you were informed, but you didn't learn anything that you could take away, okay? So I want you to start with the money because it is the easiest for you to count.
If you are underpriced by even 30%, and believe it or not, based on my experience, most approval driven CEOs are underpriced by far more than that, then every single year you are handing back a third of your revenue even though you did the work. Now, think about that over five years or 10 years. That, my friend, is not a discount.
That is a luxury vacation to anywhere in the world. It's your ability to fly first class or to add money to your retirement accounts. And the sad part about all of this [00:24:00] is that it's money that you have indeed earned but never collected because the approval tax had you lowering your rates. You did the work.
You just let the need for approval cash the check. But here's what I want you to understand also. The money is actually the lesser part. It's the cheapest part. The expensive part is the ceiling that you create for yourself because you cannot scale a business whose prices or pace or boundaries are all being quietly set by your need for validation Every time you grow, the approval tax grows right along with you.
That means that there will be more clients to please, there will be more people to disappoint, more polishing before anything is allowed to go out. So guess what? You'll hit a wall, and you will assume you just need a better strategy. I don't know why y'all think the answer to everything is a new strategy, but let's be clear, you do not.
You are carrying a [00:25:00] tax that gets heavier the higher you attempt to climb, until one day it is so heavy you stop climbing altogether. That is your ceiling, and it was never in the market. It was in your need to be liked and validated by others. And then there's the cost that you cannot compute in a spreadsheet.
I'm talking about you. The resentment that builds every time you overgive, the exhaustion you have rebranded as ambition, the slow disappearing of a leader who has shaped themselves for so long around what other people will accept that they have lost track of themselves and what they actually desire in the process.
Yes, there is a reason your strategy feels stalled, and I bet you didn't realize it's spiritual. Discover your divine wiring, which informs how you lead, where you sabotage, and how to shift [00:26:00] in order to scale with the Move to Millions Ascension Archetype Quiz. In less than three minutes, you'll learn what's really blocking your money, your momentum, and your mission.
Take the quiz today at movetomillionsquiz.com. The reviews are in. Move to Millions, the proven framework to become a million-dollar CEO with grace and ease instead of hustle and grind, is a best seller. With thousands of copies sold, we are raising a generation of million-dollar CEOs. You got next. Grab your copy and our bonuses today at movetomillionsbook.com.
Here's what I want you to know and understand. You do not lose yourself all at once, and the body that gets beat down because of all the weight is taking up the capacity that was truly designed to get you to and beyond the seven-figure mark. Now, until one day you're gonna look up at your business that you've built and you're not gonna recognize the person who's [00:27:00] running it.
But here is what I want you to understand and really allow to anchor in, because this is much bigger than you. Your children are watching how you value yourself and they are learning what is acceptable. Your team is watching what you tolerate, and they are calibrating your culture to it. Your clients are watching how you carry your own worth, and they are deciding how to treat you based on how you are treating yourself.
The approval tax does not just cost you money It teaches, and what it teaches the next generation is that staying small enough to be comfortable for everyone else's benefit is the price of being loved. Now hear me when I say this. [00:28:00] That is the lesson you do not want to pass down. That is the exact bloodline pattern that this company, your company, was supposed to break.
And the deepest cost of all of them, the one that I really need you to feel and understand, is the calling that you will leave undelivered to the world. Because the boldest version of yourself, the boldest version of your work, the message that would actually move people, the offer that will actually change someone else's life, the truth that only you can say in a way that will resonate and immediately get them into action, all of it requires you to risk being disapproved of, to risk offending someone, to risk that you don't need anybody else's validation.
And if you have spent your whole career managing how you are received, you will go to your grave with the most important thing you were sent here to do still locked on the inside of you. It will be unspoken [00:29:00] because it might not have been the thing that people liked, and the people who needed your unapologetic voice will never have heard it.
This is the real bill, not the money. This is the mandate. This is what helped me to finally get over my approval tax. There were so many people, and I was being so selfish by trying to people please. So I want you to hear me. This is not a soft skill. This is not a nice to have. Settling the approval tax is the difference between a business that funds your legacy and a business that quietly costs you a legacy.
And to settle it, you have to understand both faces that this tax is going to wear. So let me show you what I mean. There is a framework that ties this whole thing together, and once you see it, you cannot unsee it. Approval has two faces, and most high-performing CEOs are paying with both. The first face looks outward.
It needs them [00:30:00] to choose you. You need the yes, the like, the booking, the validation, the applause, the referral. That's the obvious one, right? We know that. It's the people pleaser inside of you. And many of you have been people pleasing, over-delivering, underpricing, and have been trying your best not to disappoint other people Now, the second face though, it looks inward.
It needs the work to be flawless enough to earn the choosing. This is the perfectionism. This is the endless refining, the delayed launching, the thing that is never quite ready for other people to see. Now, it feels completely different from people pleasing. It actually begins to feel like rigor. But if we're being honest, it is the same exact fear, it's just pointed at yourself instead of pointed at other people.
Because approval has two faces, you have to understand that one needs [00:31:00] them to choose you and the other needs the work to be perfect. Because if the work is perfect, it will be enough for you to earn it But let's be clear, this is the same fear wearing a different outfit. And here is where I want you to understand how it impacts your ability to make the move to millions, because you cannot outstrategize an external problem.
Sure, you can hire for a skills gap, but you cannot scale a business whose pricing, pace, and boundaries are all being secretly set by your need to be validated and approved by other people. Because I want you to understand that at seven figures, leadership actually requires that you disappoint people on purpose on a regular basis.
You're gonna have to raise your rates, and you're going to have to outgrow the person who is looking for a discount. You're going to have to launch before it is ready or it is perfect, and you're gonna have [00:32:00] to allow the feedback to help you to optimize it as you go along. You're gonna have to have those hard conversations and let someone else be upset with you.
Every one of these is a small act of treason against the part of you that is paying the approval tax. But let's be clear, you cannot build a legacy without becoming the villain to ensure that you actually achieve the victory. Now, you may have already figured this out, but the approval tax does not look the same for every single person.
How it shows up for you and how it impacts you is actually gonna depend on how you are wired. Now, if you haven't figured it out already, yes, I'm talking about the Ascension Archetype Quiz. Now, if you've already taken the quiz, this part is going to feel like I've been looking in your window at night. If you have not taken it yet, I mean, for real, what are you waiting for?
I'm talking about it in every episode because it is [00:33:00] the baseline of everything that we do. So this is your invitation to take the three minutes that it takes for free and go blow your own mind getting an understanding. People tell me that they are blown away at the accuracy. It's waiting for you right now at movetomillionsquiz.com.
Now, I also just wanna say that if you're gonna keep listening to or watching this podcast, you might as well go ahead and take the quiz because every single episode, I'm going to be relating whatever I'm talking about to your Ascension archetype. And I don't want it to go over your head. I want it to actually land so that you're learning more about your archetype and how you are actually wired.
When you take the quiz, you'll learn which of the five archetypes is yours. You'll either be the Performer, the Producer, the Path Maker, the Powerhouse, or the Prophet. Now, they are all divinely ordained, and there is no right or wrong archetype. Your wiring is the key to unlocking your biggest breakthroughs yet This is why I'm committed to talking about it every [00:34:00] single episode.
In fact, we are re-engineering everything in our business around the archetypes. Now, every archetype does pay an approval tax. Let me break down what that might look like for you depending upon which archetype is yours. If you are a performer, hey, performer, you pay the most visible version of the tax.
Your sense of safety is tied to being chosen out loud, the applause, the engagement, and the recognition. So you shape your work around what will be received well, and you feel the absence of approval is actually a threat. Your liberation is in learning that you can be valuable in a room that is not applauding.
If you are the producer, hey, producer, you pay through over-delivering. No surprise there, right? Your bid for approval is output. You give more, do more, include more because being the most thorough, the most excellent, the one who does the most, being the most reliable [00:35:00] feels like the way to be safe from criticism.
The tax is that you are, however, exhausted and undercompensated for the very excellence that you are most proud of, and nobody has time for that. Your liberation is learning that your worth is not measured by how much you actually produce If you are a Path Maker, hey, Path Maker, you pay through constant reinvention.
The moment something stops getting likes and praises, guess what? You pivot. New offer, new brand, new direction. You are constantly rebranding. No one should be rebranding as much as you rebrand. You're chasing the next thing that you hope will be received well. It looks like innovation, but it's really fear, and it's the fear of being seen as stale, which is really the fear of disapproval.
Now, the tax is that you [00:36:00] never let one thing compound long enough to make the traction and the money that it could actually make for you. Your liberation is in trusting that you do not have to keep innovating to prove that you are worthy of attention. If you are a Power Haus, hey, Power Haus, you pay a hidden version through achievement.
You would never call yourself a people pleaser because you do not need to be liked, but you need to be impressive. So you earn approval through accomplishing things. You refuse help so that no one sees you struggle or sees you as the weak one, and you let the wins speak so that you never have to ask for acceptance directly.
You're the person who is always leading with your accolades and what you have done. But I want you to understand that all of this is still the approval tax. It's just wearing a more powerful suit, right? Your liberation is [00:37:00] being valued for who you are, not only what you are able to achieve. And last but certainly not least, if you are a Prophet, hey, Prophet, you pay through avoiding conflict.
You see the truth, and you do your best to soften it, to swallow it, do anything you have to in order to keep the peace. Approval for you looks like harmony, so you withhold the tough things that really need to be said. You avoid the confrontation. You let things slide that your discernment flagged a whole long time ago.
Now, the tax is the cost of every truth that you did not speak, and your liberation is learning that the most loving thing you could ever do is often the most direct thing that you have never done, even when it is not the thing that will get the most approval Now, every archetype is [00:38:00] paying something, let's be clear, and the question is the same for every single one of them.
How much of your business was built for validation instead of impact and income? So how do you actually stop paying this tax? Not with a willpower hack. You actually have to pay it with a different source of approval, because the reason the approval tax is so hard to stop paying is that you are getting your sense of worth from a source that requires other people to keep voting for you And as long as your worth is up for a vote, you will keep campaigning, and you'll campaign with your prices, through over-delivery, and through your endless need to polish it and make it perfect.
But here's what I need you to understand. You do not need to be chosen, because you have already been called. And hear me when I tell you that the called, they do not audition. This is a big part of the reason why I [00:39:00] created Sanctuary Core, because let me be very, very clear. Until you feel safe and secure in your relationships with yourself, with money, with wealth, with leadership and success, your move to millions is in jeopardy.
It is going to be challenging at best for you to make it happen, even though I know it's a goal that you have. Sanctuary Core is our leadership and personal development program. It's where legacy-led leaders and CEOs build the internal capacity to lead from calling instead of from approval. Now, there is no program like it on the market.
We combine the science, the spirituality, the somatics, and the soul in a way that shifts everything. This is where you come home to the version of yourself that Heaven has already approved so that you actually stop auditioning for everyone else. Now, if you wanna become your own sanctuary like so many have become so far, then I wanna invite you to get on the [00:40:00] waitlist at incredibleoneenterprises.com/sanctuary.
This beta that we are just finishing right now has been amazing, and although we're not working on their businesses, their businesses are growing massively. So if that's what you desire, to feel safe inside of your own success, get on the waitlist now. Now, wanting to be liked is not a flaw. It makes you human.
You have been wired for connection, and that wiring is a gift. The problem is n- never that you care what people think. The problem is when what they think is setting your prices, running your business, choosing your clients, and deciding what work you allow to get out into the world to create the impact that you desire to be known for.
What they think is determining how high you hold your head up. But I want you to remember again that before you were formed in your mother's womb, God approved you. You. So [00:41:00] you can stop paying the approval tax, because the ultimate approval has already been established in your abundant birthright.
Speaker 2: Mm.
Speaker: Do me a favor and just take a deep breath in.
Ah. I hope that felt good. Now, there are three things I want you to do for me this week as you continue to anchor in on this episode. Number one, of course, if you have not done so already, take the Ascension archetype quiz at movetomillionsquiz.com. It will take you three minutes, and it's completely free.
Find out which version of the approval tax you are most likely paying, because the receipt will look different based on your archetype. Second thing I want you to do this week is I want you to name the single place where you have been over-delivering, underpricing, or over-polishing for the approval of others.
Just one. I want you to write it down and journal on it. This is your first line item to stop paying this particular tax this week. Then I want you to do the brave [00:42:00] thing. I want you to figure out what is the opposite of that thing and do it. Raise the rate, send the imperfect email, have the conversation.
And then last but certainly not least this week, I want you to share this episode with a CEO in your life who is beloved and exhausted and underpaid all at the same time. You know the one everyone adores and nobody pays properly. They need to know that there is a name for what they are living right now and the taxes that they are paying that they will never find on their monthly income statement.
Now, I wanna invite you to take your dominant hand and put it on your heart and your other hand and put it on your belly and say this with me. I am chosen. I am called, and I release the need to be liked, and I step into the freedom to be led. My work is valuable because I am. Now, this [00:43:00] series is about impact instead of approval, and I am ready, I am worthy, and I am capable.
Take another deep breath in And release. Now, in our next episode, we're gonna move on to the third hidden tax, and this one feels like the most responsible thing in the world right up until you see what it is actually costing you. I'm talking about the control tax. Why holding everything together is actually costing you millions.
I'm talking about the micromanaging, the decision bottlenecks, the team that cannot move a step without you, the exhaustion that you are feeling because you are doing all the things, yet calling it leadership. We're gonna get all up in and through all of this tax because it is why the strongest, most capable CEOs are often the most stuck, [00:44:00] and why the thing that you will not let go is the exact thing that is capping your growth.
Trust me when I tell you, you will not want to miss it, so make sure that you are subscribed so that you get notified when we launch our next episode. Until next time, I want you to remember, millions are your birthright, and to access them, you need only move. I'll see you next time. Take care. Thank you for tuning in to the Move to Millions podcast.
Every legacy-led CEO has a divine design, and yours is waiting to be revealed. Take the Ascension archetype quiz at movetomillionsquiz.com to uncover how you're wired for wealth and what needs to shift to make your next move with grace and ease, instead of hustle and grind. And if this episode blessed you, do me a favor, subscribe, rate, and leave us a review.
And always remember, millions are your birthright, and to access them, you need [00:45:00] only move.
