“The way you see money is about the way you see yourself and your lived experiences.” Dr. Darnyelle Jervey Harmon
Ever find yourself saying things like “all money is not good money?” If you’ve said this, you might be experiencing a trauma response to money. According to Google, Money Trauma is defined this way: a term that describes emotional, cognitive, relational, and physical symptoms that can result from significant financial stressors. Some examples of money trauma include poverty, financial co-dependency, divorce, sudden loss of assets, housing insecurity, money scarcity, caregivers who valued work more than family time, caregivers who taught that money success was the only worthy metric of success.
The truth is money, which is a tool, medium of exchange and transactional energetic expression is neutral – it is neither good or bad. But, based on your experiences and what you have been taught to believe you might think money is bad or evil and as a result experience what some refer to as money trauma.
When I first became an entrepreneur, I used to hear constantly “entrepreneurs solve problems for profit.” The challenge for me back then was that I hadn’t ever experienced profit. I was born in lack to lack-minded drug addicts and when given a chance to have my own money, the lack I was born into seeped into my own money management. It took filing bankruptcy and the bankruptcy trustee requiring that I take a financial literacy course where I was exposed to Happy Pocket Full of Money by David Cameron Gikandi. That book changed my life and the way I saw money and therefore myself. It was the beginning of my journey to heal my money traumas and the subsequent trauma responses that are quips and axioms used by most of the people you know every day without understanding the real consequences of speaking such things over themselves. Literally one year after filing bankruptcy, I was a millionaire and a few years later I was running a million-dollar business. Today, I am a proud, unapologetic multi-millionaire running a multi-million-dollar company.
While I am not a mental health professional and I do not play one on TV, and this episode is not designed to diagnose or treat a mental health condition, it is my hope that this episode ignites a desire in you to seek clarity about the way you relate to money so that you can disrupt the pattern and shift your life and business around money.
Let’s be clear: money matters. It’s hard to be the change when you don’t have any. And until lack loosens its grip on your conscious and subconscious mind, beliefs, thoughts and actions, you will mess with your money and that will make it challenging to achieve your goal to make the move to millions.
In this episode, we get into the meaning of a lack/poverty mindset, which for the record is not about how much money you actually have. It’s about how you relate to money. I have seen wealthy people relate and respond to money in a way that stops money from doing what it was created to do – flow and create more.
If you are ready to confront the casual covenants you make with money so that you can invite more money into your life and business, grab your Move to Millions Podcast notebook and listen in to discover:
- The 4 Money Personalities and how they impact how you relate to money
- A simple formula for forgiveness around money related traumas
- Actionable insights into what you can do now to experience a powerful shift
- Why many of the things you say about money is impacting how much money flows to you
- And so much more
Powerful Quotes During the Episode:
“Spending behaviors are often influenced by an individual’s upbringing and beliefs about money.” – Darnyelle Jervey Harmon
“Spenders seek validation through extravagant possessions and equate them with self-worth.” – Darnyelle Jervey Harmon
“Avoiders are uncomfortable with money details and may not track their financial status.” – Darnyelle Jervey Harmon
Money monks are generous but struggle with their own self-worth, often raised in environments where money is viewed negatively.” – Darnyelle Jervey Harmon
Self-reflection is crucial to recognize and shift one’s money personality and mindset.” – Darnyelle Jervey Harmon
“The subconscious mind influences money beliefs and patterns based on early experiences.” – Darnyelle Jervey Harmon
“Beliefs like ‘all money is not good money’ and ‘I just need enough’ can be trauma responses impacting one’s relationship with money.” – Darnyelle Jervey Harmon
“Valuing oneself and charging what one deserves is essential in business.” – Darnyelle Jervey Harmon
“Trauma responses can manifest as resistance to investing in oneself or feeling undeserving of financial abundance.” – Darnyelle Jervey Harmon
“It’s important to review and release money traumas, activate a multimillion-dollar vision, and shift tolerance and capacity.” – Darnyelle Jervey Harmon
“Rewire the money blueprint, release money patterns from cellular memory, and embody an energy of abundance.” – Darnyelle Jervey Harmon
“Common money blocks include unworthiness, lack mindset, fear of abandonment, fear of success, and unforgiveness.” – Darnyelle Jervey Harmon
“Forgiveness is crucial in unblocking the flow of money to experience abundance.” – Darnyelle Jervey Harmon
“Millions are your birthright and can be accessed through movement.” – Darnyelle Jervey Harmon
Resources Mentioned:
- Move to Millions by Dr. Darnyelle Jervey Harmon – Get Your Copy
- Companion Guide for Move to Millions – Download for a detailed overview of the seven systems to seven figures.
- Join the Move to Millions Facebook Group for ongoing support and community engagement – Join Now
- Move to Millions 90-Day Business Growth Planner – Get Your Planner
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- http://www.twitter.com/darnyellejervey
- http://www.linkedin.com/in/darnyellejerveyharmon
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Darnyelle [00:00:00]:
Money traumas can be a constant source of stress, anxiety, fear and worry for people, and it is not necessarily a medical health diagnosis though, so it is often overlooked. You’re listening to the Move to Millions podcast with Dr Darnyelle Jervey Harmon, the place to be for high level conversations about all things millions. Your mission, mindset, methodologies, mandate, movement, messaging, marketing metrics, and most definitely your money. I am your host, spiritual business growth coach, Dr Darnyelle J. Harmon. Join me each week for inspiring stories, powerful interviews, and business growth strategy to help you experience abundance in your life. Because of your business, if you’re ready to move to your next level, everything let’s get this party started. Welcome back to the Mood to Millions podcast.
Darnyelle [00:01:01]:
I am your host, Dr Darnyelle, and if this happens to be your very first time listening, I just want to say welcome. I’m so excited that you are here. I’m actually really grateful for the opportunity to be sharing with you today. And I’m excited because I know that just by being here, your income is going to go up. Now, if you are here for the very first time, you will quickly learn that while this is technically a business podcast, I do believe that life and business are congruent and that you cannot have a booming business when you have a busted life. So I use this platform, this podcast, to talk about the topics that impact our most ideal clients, service based entrepreneurs that are generating income on the Move to Millions continuum. Most of the clients that we work with in our proximity mastermind are generating $300,000 a year and they want to be making millions and they want businesses that serve them financially and spiritually. And there are just a few things that are in the way.
Darnyelle [00:02:05]:
And so I like to have conversations about what I have identified over the last 16 years working directly with entrepreneurs and small business owners. I have a whole episode on the podcast where I break down the Move to Millions continuum and I highly recommend that you go and take a listen to it so that you can figure out where you are right now and get some clues as to some of the things you are going to need to adjust or modify in order to get to the next milestone in your own business. When it comes to having a business that serves you financially and spiritually, I am the absolute best at combining spiritual principles with business growth strategy and we focus on real business ownership. Yes, I know that there’s a such thing as having an online business, but we don’t cut corners just for businesses that are online. We teach our clients and we advise them based on real business acumen. Acumen that I have gained through getting a master’s in business administration, working in a Fortune 500 financial services as a vice president, running my own department, being a Mary Hay Cosmetics independent executive sales director, running a women’s business center, and today running my own multimillion dollar business. I share all of this to say I am not new to this. I am true to this.
Darnyelle [00:03:24]:
And when I come to you with business insights, ideas, tips, techniques and strategies, they are not theory. They are based fully in what I myself have done and have advised clients to do with a tremendous amount of success. In fact, we get real results and you can go check our receipts. At our live event in May, we had 20 clients take the stage who did a combined gross revenue of $233.1 million since coming into contact with my powerful community and working directly with me and or me and my team to help them grow. And we are so honored to have helped 45 CEO’s become a first time million dollar CEO and 25 become a next million dollar CEO since 2021. Again, we are not new. We are true. And before we jump into today’s episode, I just want to remind you to take a moment to rate and review the podcast.
Darnyelle [00:04:25]:
We have millions of downloads, so I know many of you are coming back every single week, twice a week to listen and I’m grateful. Thank you so much. You will help us continue to expand our reach by taking the few moments that is required to rate and leave us a review. I would love it if you would do so. I offer this content and this information, this personal look in my own life as a multimillion dollar CEO and multimillionaire in order to be not only a source of inspiration, but to leave you some success clues and some success nuggets so that you can begin to emulate them in your own life. And I would be grateful if you will repay me by taking the time to rate and review the show. Thank you so much and for indulging me and allowing me the opportunity to share all of that. Now, what I’ve been doing for the last few episodes is I have been answering questions that I have gotten in my DM’s on Instagram.
Darnyelle [00:05:19]:
So yes, my DM’s are open and I welcome the opportunity for you to ask me a question for me to answer in an episode on the podcast. And a lot of ways, I love it when you guys pop in and ask questions and share thoughts and insights that you’ve gotten. It lets me know that the work that we are doing does make a difference and you are getting one step closer to whatever is next and best for you. I still remember when God gave me this movement. I had been praying for it since 2019 or 2018. And when he finally released moved to millions and then gave me the acronym mastery, operational obedience, vision and execution to and beyond the million dollar mark, I knew we were onto something. And so I’m so grateful that many of you have taken a hold of the Move to Millions movement that you’ve bought a copy of the book, you’ve shared the podcast and the book with others. I am so grateful.
Darnyelle [00:06:12]:
It’s like Hezekiah Walker says in his song, grateful. Flowing from my heart are the issues of my heart. It’s gratefulness. Thank you, thank you, thank you. So, as I am continuing to answer questions that I’m getting in the DM’s, I want to make a disclosure statement. And especially because the topic that I’m going to talk about in this particular episode is a little touchy, I’m going to be talking about trauma responses that impact and have the potential to impact you. Getting to and beyond the million dollar mark. This was literally a question that was asked in my DM’s out of the protection of the person.
Darnyelle [00:06:50]:
I’m not even going to read the full question. The bottom line was, how might my trauma be impacting my ability to make the moves to millions? And so I want to say right out front, I am not a therapist, I’m not a financial advisor, and I don’t play either on tv. However, I have been working in and around entrepreneurship since 2004. I have had my own company since 2007, and I have experienced my own traumas when it comes to money and financials, and they have certainly flowered my own journey. If you’ve been listening to this show, then you know that I amassed $250,000 in credit card debt on not anything that would give me a return on investment. And I ended up filing bankruptcy. And within a year of filing bankruptcy, I was a millionaire. Within three years, I had a million dollar company.
Darnyelle [00:07:43]:
So I have been through some things. I’ve experienced my fair share of trauma. Now, I’m also aware that right now in the marketplace, trauma is an amazing buzzword. So while it is not my intention to create a trigger for you, I want to be clear as I am talking about trauma and referring to trauma. Okay. So I intend to give you the definition of financial trauma as I mean it. And I want to talk to you about trauma in general to an extent, and some of the general trauma responses we have and how that shows up in our money and impacts our business. I was listening to a book not too long ago and I apologize that I cannot tell you the name of the book that I was listening to.
Darnyelle [00:08:33]:
But in the book the author said entrepreneurship will bring your trauma to the table. And I thought it was interesting that literally days later I went on to Instagram and I had this question because I believe that it’s true. I know in my own journey, lots has come up in this journey to build a company that would not only sustain the lifestyle that I desire to live and to create financial legacy for me and my family, but those that I work with. We’ve seen a lot of things happen. And again, while I’m not attempting to diagnose anything, I’m not a therapist, I’m not a financial advisor. I am a business consultant with an MBA. I want to just offer some insight in an effort to answer the question that was in my DM’s. Are you ready for God? Girls making millions 2024 GGMM is an amazing, luxurious, high end experience experience for the woman entrepreneur small business owner who is about their birthright, their business and their bank accounts.
Darnyelle [00:09:34]:
If you’re looking for a safe, significant and aligned space to finally unearth what your next level looks like when you no longer have to focus on making money, this is for you. Learn more and submit your application [email protected]. want to know what it’s like to work with me and the incredible factor university coaching team? You can get started today with the Move to Millions 90 day business growth planner. 90 days at a time, you’ll be setting your business on a trajectory that will make the Move to Millions happen much faster for you. It’s got everything that you need to track, every strategy, every sale, all of your KPI’s, as well as your self care and life transformational needs. We made sure we left nothing out of this amazing planner. And by accessing the planner, you’ll get a behind the scenes view of what it’s like to work with me and my team. Go grab yours [email protected].
Darnyelle [00:10:35]:
dot so first, what is a financial trauma response? So a trauma associated with money. So financial trauma is the physical, emotional, and I’m going to use the word cognitive and cognitive stress and distress that will result from something that has to do with your finances. That could be a loss, that could be financial insecurity. It could be caused by a myriad of things, right? It could be due to unexpected loss. Like you lost your job, inflation or Covid-19 right. There are so many people who made a lot of money in Covid-19 there were so many people who were financially distraught in Covid-19 it could be as a result of having a lot of debt, right? Whether that is medical debt or student loan debt or debt that your loved ones who passed on left you that you now have to figure out how to resolve. It could be as a result of having grown up in poverty. I was born to two drug addicted turned crack addicted parents in the projects of Wilmington, Delaware.
Darnyelle [00:11:45]:
And my mom always robbed Peter to pay Paul. She always found just enough for whatever we needed in that moment and not a penny more. And my father, who was technically middle class, smoked his extra money, so it felt like we were poor. That’s what I grew up in. And as a result of that, we certainly experienced our fair share of financial challenges in childhood. My first memory of money came at the age of six when my mom backhanded me cause I thought I would get a little treat when she took me with her to the grocery store. And she rewarded me by saying that money is only for what we need. And that started the long diatribe of money, beliefs and blocks that made me bankrupt at some point in time.
Darnyelle [00:12:31]:
And eventually I got free from to create an environment to today to be considered wealthy. It was a journey. I did not wake up like this. So let me also be clear about that. I’m going to be vulnerable and transparent and talk about my own stuff as I talk about some of the traumas that I have seen, experienced, identified, coached people through. I want to be. I’m hoping that this will be a source of clarity for you and help you to ask yourself some really powerful questions so that you can get to the point where you can do what I ultimately hope everyone gets to do. And that’s normalize money, access to money, and invite yourself to bring more of into your life experience.
Darnyelle [00:13:12]:
Money is the one thing that every single one of us has to make decisions about every single day. If you get up in the morning and it’s still dark outside and you decide to turn on your light, you have to consciously decide that you want your electric bill to potentially get higher. Now, I might be exaggerating a little bit, right? If you get in your car and your gas is low, you have to consciously decide to stop at the gas station and put money in the tank in order to be able to get to your destination. If you get hungry during the day and you did not pack a lunch from groceries that you used money for to have in your home, and you have to go out somewhere to get something to eat, you have to make a decision about money. If, as a business owner, you need access to a tool or resource in order to be able to experience growth and solve a problem in your business, you have to make a decision about money. So money is something that we need to learn how to normalize. That it cannot continue to be the taboo thing that we were taught as children. That is evil and that it is private, and it is disrespectful to ask people about, we have to normalize it.
Darnyelle [00:14:21]:
And the only way we normalize it is by talking about it. That is why I love talking about money. That is why I will continue talking about money. That is why I hope even as I talk about money, if I make you uncomfortable, I make you so uncomfortable that eventually you learn more about money so that you normalize it, so that you don’t feel some kind of way when you hear me talking about it. Cause I’m gonna keep talking about it. Okay. Now, other things that can impact our traumas associated with money could be systemic problems, such as racism or discrimination, right? Like, I’m a black woman, and so just by being a black woman, there are certain things that I experience financially that other people don’t experience. Right.
Darnyelle [00:15:01]:
I don’t have the statistics right in front of me that talk about the fact I know them, I have quoted them, but I don’t have them right in front of me in this moment. I’m actually going to see if I can get them up while I’m having this conversation with you about the percentage of black women who get access to capital. Let me find that while we’re talking, because that is an example of systemic issues that impact our money and potentially create trauma for us around money. You may have heard me quote before some of the other statistics around money, specifically for women in general, black women in particular. And I’m going to pull that slide up, and I’m going to go into that it wasn’t planned, which is why I didn’t have it up. But that’s okay. It’s my show. I can do what I want, and I’m going to pull it in because I think it’s going to only add value to this conversation about money and money trauma.
Darnyelle [00:15:52]:
And one of the reasons why I love doing the work that I do in speaking on stages and talking specifically around money mindset, often my signature talk is called mindset for millions is because I want to unearth the feelings and beliefs, the blocks and beliefs that we hold around money that are impacting how much of it comes into our life experience. And until we recognize that we have to allow money to hold its space for us, it’s going to continue to be a problem. And it doesn’t have to be a problem. All right, so here we go. Here’s some statistics. So the average black woman owned business does $47,000 a year, versus $192,600 for white women. As reported by Wells Fargo earlier this year. 4.2% of all businesses do seven figures a year.
Darnyelle [00:16:44]:
2.35% of service based businesses do seven figures a year. 1.9% of all women owned businesses do seven figures a year. 0.5% of black women owned businesses do seven figures a year. 80% of black owned businesses fail in the first 18 months. 52.1% of black owned businesses are run by women. However, only 3% of black owned companies mature and survived longer than five years. Only 3% of black women own companies. 14.8% of all woman owned companies are run by black women.
Darnyelle [00:17:21]:
So 52% of black owned businesses are run by women. But 14.8% of all women owned businesses are run by black women. 44% of black women owned businesses use their own money to start or grow their venture. 7% of black owned businesses have six to ten employees, as compared to the national average of 12%. 58% of black owned businesses considered the health of their business at risk or distressed. Less than 1% of black businesses get access to capital and funding to grow in scale. Oh, y’all. So when I talk about the traumas that ensue because of money, know that as a black woman, we get this thing honestly, because there’s a lot of systemic problems that are out there that impact our ability to have money.
Darnyelle [00:18:15]:
All of this, however, hinges on how we were raised, how much money we had and were privy to, and how we were taught to see money. Taught like someone actually told us something or caught meaning, we observed. And as a result of the observation, we created a belief and a principle in our subconscious mind that is still ruminating to this day. These traumas, these financial traumas, these money traumas can lead to a whole lot of different responses in the way you show up and deal with money. As an example, avoidance. How many of you avoid money, avoid looking at your bills, looking at your bank accounts, having conversations about money? If you hear money, it makes you uncomfortable instantly, and it causes you to shut down and unable to make effective financial decisions, or how about the trauma that’s associated with overspending. This pattern can be as a result of avoidance. It could also be because you didn’t have it as a child.
Darnyelle [00:19:21]:
Now you have a credit card. You are living into. The belief which most poor people have when it comes to money, is that money is just for bills. And middle class people believe that money is still for bills, but it’s so that you have good credit so that you can live beyond your means. Could also lead to hoarding. I’m a recovering hoarder of money. You may have heard me tell the story before, how at 16, my dad emptied my bank account that I’d been saving 50% of my paycheck from McDonald’s since I turned 13. I still.
Darnyelle [00:19:55]:
I’m 48 years old, y’all, and I still check my bank account every morning to make sure that the money is still there. Hoarders, as a result of money trauma, they hold tightly to money, and they don’t spend it, even when it is safe for them to do so. Now, I’m not entirely a hoarder. I kind of vacillate them. I am going to talk about the different money personalities. Cause I think that that would be effective for you guys to have, as we have this conversation as well. Because there’s been a time in my life when I have been all four of the money personalities. That is slightly funny.
Darnyelle [00:20:31]:
It might be a little scary, but it is 100% true. And I hope that my transparency is demonstrating to you what is possible for you. Because if it can happen for me, I believe that it could also happen for you. So I hope that that makes you feel good and makes you feel warm and fuzzy about what is possible for you. And understanding that, you know, when you have an understanding of which money personality you have, you can leverage that to be able to really use it in a way that it doesn’t continue to replicate the cycle of lack that you’re trapped in. And just so we’re clear, while we’re right here, before we get into the money personalities, I want to state that a lack mindset has absolutely nothing to do with how much money you have. Let me repeat that for the people in the back, a lack mindset has nothing to do with how much money you have. I have had conversations with people who were born wealthy.
Darnyelle [00:21:32]:
Maybe not Rockefeller wealthy, but they were born wealthy, who still have a lack mindset as it pertains to money because of the way that they were raised and what they were taught about money, because they don’t even truly have an understanding about money, which many of us do not really have. Right. We’ll talk about. I’ll also talk to you about the money states that you can find yourself in over time, because that could be a powerful realization as a part of this as well. And so when you understand your. Your money personality, it helps to make a difference on how it is that you are going to show up in the world and what your personality is telling you about the way you see money and the way you see yourself. Because that is ultimately my belief that the way we see money is really about the way we see ourself. Period, point blanken.
Darnyelle [00:22:23]:
If I understand money and I understand myself, everything changes. I think about the parable of the talents. That’s one of the things that I like to talk about the most. I love talking about the parable of the talents. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it is a parable in the Bible, and it is the story of the master who goes away and leaves three of his servants with a portion of his wealth in order to manage while he’s going. And to one servant, he left five talents, to one, he left three, and to one, he left one, he left them with money in accordance to how he saw them and how he believed they saw themselves and what he believed would happen with the talent that he left them with. And so for the one he left five, they doubled it and created ten. For the one he left three, they doubled it and created six.
Darnyelle [00:23:13]:
But the one he left one in fear buried the money, and it did not reproduce. Money was made to move. It is a current and an energy that is always flowing. It never stops flowing, except for when we do specific things that create a reason for the money to stop flowing. And since we’re talking about trauma responses as it pertains to money, there are things you might do that would stop the flow of money. That is actually a trauma response that’s going to bring me to talking to you about the four money personalities. We’ve already talked about some of the responses. Right.
Darnyelle [00:23:53]:
Avoidance, overspending, and hoarding. Hey, God girl. Have you attended event after event looking for an up leveled conversation and community, only to realize you’ve outgrown the rooms you used to frequent? For inspiration and implementation, I want to invite you to spend three days immersing yourself in a safe, aligned and significant space where you can have the deep, vulnerable, and transparent conversations about what life beyond the money really looks like. For the first time, maybe ever, you can have the conversations that really shift the way you show up in every area of your life and focus on getting access to more. More freedom, more expression, more self care, more meaning, more alignment, and more connections. God, girls, making millions is the only room of its kind for you to finally unearth what is burgeoning for your next level. Learn more and submit your application [email protected]. dot the reviews are in move two millions.
Darnyelle [00:25:01]:
The proven framework to become a million dollar CEO with grace and ease instead of hustle and grind, is a best seller with thousands of copies sold. We are raising a generation of million dollar CEO’s. You got next. Grab your copy in our bonuses [email protected]. now, financial trauma or money trauma? Typically from what I the research that I did in preparation for this episode and just what I know from the work that I do every single day, money traumas can be a constant source of stress, anxiety, fear and worry for people. And it is not necessarily a medical health diagnosis, though, so it is often overlooked when you think about the traditional trauma responses. Right, we have fight, flight, freeze, flop, or fawn. Right.
Darnyelle [00:25:55]:
Fight means that you’re going to face any perceived threat aggressively. Freeze means that you have an inability to move and act against any threat that comes up. Flop means that you collapse or become unresponsive or faint. Flight means you run away from the imposed or suggested danger or threat. And fawn means that you please someone into avoid conflict altogether and absolutely fight, freeze, flop, flight, or fawn can relate to your money, right? And in addition to it relating to your money, it’s just in general whenever trauma shows up. So fighting, facing any perceived threat aggressively, might look like overspending. Freezing. The inability to move or act against a threat might look like avoidance, flopping, or collapsing and becoming unresponsible and faint might look like avoidance, flighting.
Darnyelle [00:26:50]:
Running away from danger might look like hoarding and fawning or pleasing someone else to avoid conflict might look like overspending in the form of gifts to other people in an attempt to take the focus or attention off of yourself. All of this, along with the four money personalities that we’re gonna talk about in a second, produces some of the responses that you as an entrepreneur have for money that we’re gonna get in just after the money personalities. So there are four possible money personalities that you could have. You could be a misertainous. The pros of being a miser is that you love to save. You love numbers, you know everything about everything you have, down to the penny and you encourage others to save. You are the believer that you need to save for a rainy day, right? You’re the person who gets a gift card and you hold on to that gift card with your dear life. You don’t go and enjoy it like another gift card might come.
Darnyelle [00:27:41]:
You act like that’s the last gift card on the planet and you hold on to it for dear life. So the cons is that you’re watching your pennies. You can’t really invest in yourself. Your relationship with money is based in fear or lack is a part of your money backstory. There’s lots of loss most likely, or struggle in your upbringing that impacts the way you look today and why you’re a miser. I have a really good cousin who shall, for the purposes of her anonymity, remain nameless. That is a miser so afraid of not having that. She barely lives at this day.
Darnyelle [00:28:17]:
So if you don’t want to be a miser or you want to manage your miser, you might learn to deal with fear head on. You might acknowledge that now that you’re adult, you can do some things differently and you can be fiscally responsible and financial savvy with your money. The second money personality is a spender. Spenders are generous. They want to help other people. They’re very charismatic. But ultimately, spenders typically spend to fill a void. They experience lots of stress about money.
Darnyelle [00:28:48]:
They buy things as a way to deal with what happens in their life. It makes them feel important, loved and validated. Their inner voice often will tell them, I deserve this. I won’t be denied anymore. Because when they were a child, they were always told no. The biggest spenders are status seekers who equate extravagant possessions with self worth, whether or not they can afford it. They’re carrying the Louie bag and that makes them feel more respected because people will see them getting out of their mercedes or their Range Rover and ultimately believe that they must be making it happen in their life. So if you are a spender and you want to make a shift, stop spending just to spend or feel a void.
Darnyelle [00:29:30]:
Instead, determine what else you are good at besides spending money and start a savings match. For every dime you spend, save that same amount in a bank account or put it in an investment account or something like that. The third money personality is the avoider. They don’t want to be bothered with the details of money. Avoiders are not comfortable with the subject of money due to their lack of interest, or they feel that there are other, more important issues they might not even know how much money they have in their bank account. They probably have tons of bills stacked up that they just will not open. This type of person is typically the person that will set up all of these auto pays and hope and pray that the auto pays happen the way that they’re supposed to, because they won’t look at their bank account. They’ll be the one that goes out.
Darnyelle [00:30:16]:
The car gets declined, and they are embarrassed and can’t believe it. But they had no idea how much money they had in the bank. So how might you shift realize that money is just an energy and its value is totally self induced. You can’t experience abundance if you’re trying to fill a void. And when you are avoiding things, right? Avoiders typically take a see no evil, hear no evil approach to managing their financial affairs. By not staying informed about their finances, they often miss out on opportunities that will set a more financially secure foundation for them. And then the final money personality is the money monk. They love to give to others.
Darnyelle [00:30:54]:
They’re very generous and benevolent. These are the philanthropic people in your life. They give to charities. These people often, believe it or not, this is not. And none of these are absolute, right, but these people often struggle with their own worth. And so instead of spending money on themselves because they don’t feel worthy, they give it to other people. They handle money in a way that makes being a monk feel like they’re giving in to some sort of power or higher good of them. Hence the monk, right? Often, money monks were raised in deep religious or political environments.
Darnyelle [00:31:30]:
Their parents taught them that money is the root of evil, or that rich people are catalyst pigs, as an example. And so they constantly put the needs of others before themselves in an effort to substantiate that they are not worthy, that they don’t deserve to be loved or accepted. How might you make the shift? Recognize your value and your worth. Realize who you are. I think a compliments and accomplishments journal could be good for a money monk. Because the more you see that you’ve accomplished and the more you pay attention to the nice things people say about you, the more self confidence that it’ll give you. So just right now, I want you to think about these four personalities. Miser, spender, avoider, money monk.
Darnyelle [00:32:14]:
Which one is yours? Have you learned some things about your money personality? And how might you use this information to become a better steward over your money in your life and in your business? Now, in order for you to have this conversation with yourself, you are going to have to do some introspective work. Nine times out of ten, consciously, you might not even think you have a money mindset issue or a poor relationship with money, because it’s not your conscious mind that is causing the problem, it’s your subconscious mind. And when you were born, you were only born with the subconscious mind. And your conscious mind is formed based on everything you take in from birth to the age of seven, everything you take in. So that is how you build the patterns and beliefs that you hold and keep replicating in your life experience in your energy field until you learn how to break some of the patterns that exist. This could show up in saying things like all money is not good money. Have you ever said that? I certainly have. I don’t say it anymore because here’s what I realized.
Darnyelle [00:33:14]:
Money is not a person to be good or bad. Money just is. And saying all money is not good money. While I understand what people mean when they say that, it’s a trauma response because money is neither good nor bad now, it is often because of the misquoted scripture in first Timothy, chapter six. And tend for the love of money is the root of all evil. And they that coveted after have erred from the faith. And that is what has called them sorrow that often gets people’s panties in a bunch about this whole all money is not good money. Because money, money is good.
Darnyelle [00:33:48]:
All money is good money. Now again, I know what people mean when they say it. Some of the money that you can earn, it’s not worth it because of what you have to do to have it. But we have to be clear and we have to be careful. Because if money is an energy that flows or doesn’t based on the things you say about it, I want you to just stop and think about that. We’re all in a relationship with money. And I want you to think about human relationships that you are in. If you are constantly telling your best friend or a good enough friend you’re not always good, do you think they’re going to keep coming and hanging around with you? Probably not.
Darnyelle [00:34:23]:
So there is no such thing as money isn’t good. All money is good. The people who use money sometimes use it bad. And the things that people want you to do for money might not be worth it to you. But all money is good. Money is good. Money is an energy that flows. And when you understand the concept that money flows away from them, those who feel that there’s a shortage of it, or who question its integrity, money is not going to flow to you as prevalently as it could.
Darnyelle [00:34:51]:
When you believe that it’s possibility that it can’t be good. So I just want you to check yourself before you wreck yourself. That’s a trauma response. Another trauma response I hear all the time in entrepreneurship is, I just need enough. I don’t want to be greedy. And I know, again, I know where it stems from. I think these statements are well meaning, but they are still casual covenants and they can impact your relationship with money, and it can show up in what you charge as an entrepreneur. Because if you keep telling yourself, I just need enough, I just need to be comfortable, I don’t want to be greedy, then you will probably misrepresent the value and what it actually costs for you to perform a service and charge less and then create ajita, anxiety and strife on the back end because you did not charge what you should have charged and what you deserve to charge.
Darnyelle [00:35:38]:
You only charged enough to break even. And in case no one told you, breaking even is not the move. In business, we are after profit. Profit is how we keep score. We are here to profit. So let me just say that one more time for the people in the back. Another thing you might say as it pertains to money is I should be grateful and you should be grateful, and you can be grateful and you can get more. At the same time, you might say, I can’t charge that much.
Darnyelle [00:36:04]:
That’s a trauma money response. I can’t afford it, or that’s expensive. Again, money flows away from those who feel that there is a shortage of it. If I’m not working, then I’m nothing worthy of making money. Now, that was a new one for me. But I get it. I get how people would say that. Because if you like me, my father said when I asked him for $20 in the 7th grade so that we could get our little outfit to go to great adventures.
Darnyelle [00:36:29]:
And he said, oh, you think I have a tree out back that has money on it? You have to work hard for money. That became a lesson for me about money. And so I remember the time when if I was not working, I didn’t feel that I deserved to have money because I had to work hard to have money. A trauma response. So I just want you to think about that as it pertains to your money and listen there. I could go on all day about some of the trauma responses. I see trauma responses also show up in not investing in yourself, deciding that you are not worthy or worth whatever the investment is to and for whatever the investment is. Right? So it could be buying yourself a brand new iMac.
Darnyelle [00:37:13]:
I don’t even know what IMAX calls these days, but deciding that you are not worth you, your business, the work you do, is not worth getting a brand new iMac. So you get a refurbished one, right? Deciding that you are not worthy or not investing in yourself for coaching or consulting, not attending a live event that you know that’s going to take your skill sets to the next level because you don’t feel worthy is a trauma response from money. And so we have to be careful because until we write our relationship with money, because we’re all in a relationship with money, our trauma responses will impact how long it takes if we ever make millions. Now, I do hope that in your lifetime, I hope in everybody’s lifetime they make a million dollars. If you make $50,000 a year and you work for 20 years in your lifetime, you will have made a million dollars. However, you and I both know that a million dollars incrementally is not the same as having a million dollars making you a millionaire. And your ability to get your business to and beyond the million dollar mark is going to be as much about your success mindset, your relationship with money and your spiritual principle practice as it will be about the strategies that you use, the offers that you make, and the sales conversations that you hold. And so getting to the million dollar mark will always be impacted by the way you see money and the way you see yourself.
Darnyelle [00:38:43]:
And the way you see money and the way you see yourself is often as a result of some trauma you experienced as a child as it pertained to money, worthiness, wealth or possessions. We’ve got to do the work, y’all. This is why I spend so much time talking about money. And when I get on stages, almost 100% of the time, I’m talking about money mindset. And I just want to offer reframes in the way you see these blocks and beliefs that are impacting the way you look at your money. Because that is going to determine how long it takes you to make it. If you don’t believe that you have the value associated with the skill sets of and the worthiness to charge a client $30,000, you won’t ever. And it’ll take you longer.
Darnyelle [00:39:30]:
Do you know if you had a $30,000 offer, you really only need about 34 or 35 clients to make a million dollars in a year. 35 clients, let’s call it 36 clients is three new clients a month, which, with a clear demonstration of your expertise, consistent marketing and showing up in the places, online or off where those people who would invest $30,000 in themselves through you are would make it very easy for you to be able to get to the million dollar mark in one year. I’ve done it and we’ve helped many a client do it. It does not have to be hard. It gets to be easy. I just want to say that one more time. It gets to be easy, y’all. It gets to be easy.
Darnyelle [00:40:16]:
Gone are the days where your effort is necessary to make millions. Now, if you hold the belief based on trauma, especially that you must work hard to make money, then you cannot make money unless you’re doing hard work. Your actions will always follow your beliefs. And no success hinges on hard work. All success, including success financially, is realized through alignment and embodiment. So how do we take these trauma responses that we have around money and how do we allow it to be easy? I said it gets to be easy. If you have millions on your mind, then you need to get in the house. House of millions is our up leveled suite of business advisory programs for entrepreneurs and small business owners ready for community and connections to accelerate their cash flow.
Darnyelle [00:41:08]:
Learn more at House of millions. Here are some things that you can begin to do. Number one, you’re going to have to be willing to review and release your money traumas, your money blocks, and your money patterns. You’re going to have to activate your multimillion dollar vision. You are going to have to become the millionaire in your mind. Money is mental before it’s material. First you’re going to have to shift your level of tolerance and create more capacity. Lack of money in your life experience is a capacity issue.
Darnyelle [00:41:49]:
You’re going to have to rewire your money blueprint. So that means you’re going to have to start by tracing your money patterns. Then you’re going to have to release them. You have to learn how to release them from your cellular memory because your lack is lodged in your body and it is why you keep replicating the patterns and cycles and beliefs and responding in trauma. When money is brought up, once that is done, it will open you up and create space for you to tap into the energy of abundance, which will give you the power and the clarity to physically embody the multimillionaire that you saw in your mind. And then you can cultivate an environment and community of people who hold the same beliefs and see you as that already. And then start to take the actions that will line up to the belief, the energy and the embodiment. I want you to notice that as I gave you the steps.
Darnyelle [00:42:42]:
Action was last. A lot of people think that they have to do first, but you have to be first. Be first. How does the $10 million version of yourself? How do they walk? How do they talk? How do they dress? Who do they spend their time with? What do they eat every single day? Are they doing their own grocery shopping? Do they have a personal assistant? Do they have a personal chef? What are they tolerating? Who are they spending their time around? How are they expending their energy? You have to be it to become it so that the money blocks that come up from the trauma you experienced do not impact your life. The biggest money blocks I see 16 years total in entrepreneurship. Ten years plus focused on working with people around money, making more money, normalizing money, unworthiness and identity is the number one block that goes right back to your traumas. Your unconscious lack mindset. Again, that goes right back to your money traumas, fear of being, abandonment.
Darnyelle [00:43:46]:
Hello, if that isn’t trauma, that’s mine. You know, my mom went to jail during my 8th birthday and I thought it was my fault. The fear, burden or obligation of being successful, all your cousins that are going to come out of the woodwork is another big money block that impacts people, that creates trauma that keeps them from their millions and unforgiveness. Unforgiveness of self as well as unforgiveness of those who did whatever they did on your journey that you are still holding them accountable for. I define forgiveness as releasing the person from the obligation to still be the person who did the wrong to you. Forgiveness is for you. Forgiveness is to unblock the flow of your funds so that you can experience money at every turn, whenever you need it. As an entrepreneur, your secret superpower is that you solve problems for profit.
Darnyelle [00:44:37]:
So there should never be a day, never be a time in your life where you do not. If you don’t have the money, you don’t know what to do to create the money. You’re an entrepreneur. You literally solve problems and get paid. That’s what you do. But your money traumas will lead you to believe that you’re stuck or you’re blocked or you can’t, or you can’t sell that much. These trauma responses that impact your millions. So until you shift the way you see yourself, your money will continue to be funny.
Darnyelle [00:45:08]:
But I want you to know it does not have to be that way. It does not have to be that way. I want you to send me a text message to 302-200-3399. 302-200-3399 I want you to text me the word money. When you text me the word money, I am going to send you my make money moves declarations and the audio, the frequency audio that is going to begin to disrupt those subconscious patterns and beliefs around your money traumas that are impacting you from being able to make more money. Money is currency, and currency is an energy that is always flowing. It never stops flowing. If it stops flowing to you, it’s because you’re having a trauma response based on a block or belief.
Darnyelle [00:46:01]:
And if you can nip the response in the bud and recalibrate, creating capacity and space, then you can shift that block into a bountiful exchange for more money to flow into your life. I hope I answered your question. I hope you now understand how some of your responses to money are impacting your millions. And you do have a little action plan of what to do in order to get to the other side. Because remember, it gets to be easy. If you decide that it’s easy, you will have what you say. You can make casual covenants and stay stuck, or you can make statements that unveil your significance and your next level and live at the level that God already designed for you. I pray this was helpful.
Darnyelle [00:46:51]:
If it was, do me a favor, send me a message, tag me in a story, rate or review this episode of the podcast and I’ll see you guys next time. Take care. Thank you for joining me for the Move to Millions podcast. If this episode has impacted you in any way, would you please take a moment and rate and review? Doing so helps us to deepen our impact and expand our reach around the world. And if you are ready to start your very own Move to Millions, I highly recommend that you order your very own copy of my brand new best selling book, move two millions, the proven framework to become a million dollar CEO with grace and ease instead of hustle and grind. You can get your copy and our bonuses [email protected]. until next time. Remember, millions are your birthright and to access them you need only move.
Darnyelle [00:47:47]:
I’ll see you next time.
