Ep 406: Leading Lonely: What To Do When Success Outpaces Your Soul
This episode is powered by The Ascension Archetype Quiz.
There is a specific kind of loneliness that comes after achieving a level of success that most only journal about. The business is working. The revenue is real. The responsibility is bigger. And instead of relief, you feel distance. Not burnout. Not dissatisfaction. Distance. Like your life kept expanding but you didn’t fully expand along with it. Like you’re performing success more than inhabiting it. If you’ve ever looked around and thought, “Why doesn’t this feel like mine?” lean in, this episode will not only explain why but you’ll get practical guidance to reconnect starting today.
Here’s the truth: success does not always equal fulfillment. And when success outpaces embodiment, you can end up living adjacent to your own life. This isn’t burnout. It isn’t ingratitude. It’s disconnection. And no strategy can fix what requires you to come back home to yourself.
You’ll walk away with clarity about why you feel disconnected even though nothing is “wrong.” You’ll understand how your nervous system adapts under leadership pressure, how success rewards performance over presence, and how your Ascension Archetype shapes the specific way disconnection shows up for you. Most importantly, you’ll leave with a path back to yourself that does not require tearing your success down to rebuild it.
Grab your Move to Millions Podcast Notebook, a pen and your favorite beverage and listen in to discover:
✔ How to recognize when success has outpaced embodiment
✔ How to differentiate burnout from internal disconnection
✔ How to begin returning home to yourself without abandoning ambition
✔And so much more
This episode is a call to the leader who feels alone in a room full of wins. The one who is not unhappy, not ungrateful, not failing — just strangely distant from their own experience. What stands out about this conversation is that it does not pathologize your success. It reframes it. It names the lag that happens when your external growth outpaces your internal embodiment.
This is your invitation to stop trying to affirm your way out of something that requires embodiment. To stop assuming more strategy, more money, or more momentum will restore presence. Pause. Breathe. Listen. This episode may give you language for something you’ve felt but haven’t dared articulate.
- Your life expanded. Your identity didn’t catch up yet
- “You can be successful and still feel disconnected from your own life.”
- “Most leaders were trained to override themselves long before they were trained to listen.”
- “Success can outpace embodiment.”
- “You are not broken. You adapted.”
- When was the last time I felt fully present inside my own life?
- Am I living inside my success or performing around it?
- Does my nervous system feel safe in the role I occupy?
- Where has adaptation replaced authenticity?
- If I slowed down, what would I feel?
- Take the Move to Millions Ascension Archetype Quiz
- Join the Waitlist for Sanctuary
- Apply for a Soul + Strategy Conversation
- Move to Millions: The Proven Framework To Become a Million Dollar CEO With Grace & Ease Instead of Hustle & Grind by Dr. Darnyelle Jervey Harmon – Get Your Copy
- Join the Move to Millions Facebook Group for ongoing support and community engagement – Join Now
- Move to Millions 90-Day Business Growth Planner – Get Your Planner
Personal brand website: https://drdarnyelle.com/
Company website: https://incredibleoneenterprises.com/
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Darnyelle: [00:00:00] Now I want you to understand that you can be successful and still feel disconnected from your own life. That paradox does not make you ungrateful. It just makes you human. And I want you to understand that there's nothing wrong with you, but you can begin to come back home to yourself and start to feel like your own sanctuary.
Did you know that only 1.9% of women entrepreneurs, 0.9% of black business owners. And just 0.5% of black women entrepreneurs ever crossed the seven figure mark. That changes right here. If you are ready for high level, high income conversations about all things millions, your mission, your mindset, your methodologies, your mandate, your movement, your messaging, your marketing, your metrics.
And of course, your money just by listening, your income is going all the way up. Every week, you'll hear [00:01:00] powerful stories, transformational interviews, and million dollar business growth insights to help you scale and sustain a seven figure business. With grace and ease, not hustle and grind. I am your host, Dr.
Darnyelle J Harmon, award-winning spiritual business growth strategist, eight figure entrepreneur and God girl on a mission to help you experience abundance in your life because of your business. This is the Move to Millions podcast. Welcome home.
Before we dive into this week's episode, let me ask you something real quick. If this podcast has ever made you think deeper, shift something in your spirit or take bold bankable action in your business, would you do me a favor? Would you take a moment and scroll down and leave us a rating or review.
Listen, that's how we grow this message and get it into the ears of more seven figure [00:02:00] CEOs and seven figure CEOs in the making your words matter. Your support matters. So please take a moment to go ahead, rate review, and then come right back because this episode is about to shift everything. I am so excited for you to be joining me for what is Sure to be a really powerful conversation. All season long, we are having a conversation that is not widely held inside of the marketplace.
So I'm excited that you're here. If this is your very first time being here, welcome. I already know that this will not be your last. I am on a mission to transform the soul and strategy of business owners just like you, so that you can make, move, leave, and net millions of dollars, and you can do so with grace and ease instead of hustle and grind.
Now, if you do not already have a copy of my bestselling book, move to Millions to Proven Framework to Become a Million Dollar CEO. [00:03:00] That is a very good place to start. In addition to joining me each week for this powerful podcast so that you can get acclimated to my work and what I'm here to do in the world, there is a link to the book inside of the show notes.
Now, all season long, the conversation that we are having is a conversation you will likely not here anywhere else. This season is all about what happens when success is no longer the problem. Yep. You heard me correctly. Your success has never been in question. Do you know who you're, do you know whose you're, because if you do, it's time that you start acting like it because you are destined to experience success.
This season, we are getting to the heart of the matter about what is really keeping you from seven figures. I promise you, it is not what you think in this market. I know that you likely feel that getting to seven figures is going to be harder [00:04:00] than ever, but I wanna show you how to make it happen without sacrificing everything on the journey.
In this specific episode, we're talking about something that you have likely felt but you haven't been able to clearly articulate. We're talking about what it means to feel lonely when you are surrounded by success. This episode is about what happens when success keeps moving forward, but your ability to stay with yourself doesn't move at the same pace.
Now, there is a particular kind of loneliness that doesn't come from being alone. It actually comes from being surrounded by people, responsibility, activity, and success, and still feeling strangely distant. Still feeling strangely distant from your own life experience. Like you wake up inside of a life that you worked really hard to build.
And yes, somewhere along the way it feels like you shouldn't be there. Like it's not that you're [00:05:00] unhappy or ungrateful or even broken, it's just not fully what you expected for your own life experience. And because everything looks good on the outside, you can't dare tell anyone that this is how you're feeling.
Because if you do, you'll be judged by those who wish that they had a fraction of the success that you have been enjoying. But here's the truth, success does not always equal fulfillment. And when you are trying to find fulfillment outside of yourself, it will almost always feel hollow. Now, you might be telling yourself you should just be more present.
You should be more appreciative. You should be more grounded. I need you to understand that presence does not return just because you say so and gratitude does not automatically restore intimacy that you should feel inside of your own life experience. So if you've ever thought even quietly, I don't feel at home or safe inside of the life that I have [00:06:00] built.
This episode is for you now. I wanna be very, very clear and make sure that you understand that if you feel this way, you are absolutely unequivocally not alone. There have been so many times over the last 20 years that I have been building my company that I have felt the same exact way, and I have often felt ashamed that I felt that way because when you look at me on paper, when you look at the bank accounts, when you look at the portfolio, why in the world would I not be excited?
But what I found is that these feelings. They've been a cry for help to do the inner work and to heal some of the trauma points that start to surface in my life over time. So I want you to know that I understand where you are and I want you to know that what you are experiencing is not a personal failure.
It's not a mindset problem. You can't affirm your way out of this, and it's not a lack of discipline, and it is not because you want too much. [00:07:00] This is something that happens to people, to leaders just like you, just like me, who have learned how to succeed without being taught how to stay with themselves as they do.
Now, there's one thing to evolve, and it's something else entirely to fill the disjointed actions that often happens if we're not careful. So first and foremost, I want you to remember something important. Your nervous system has one primary job, and that is to scan for danger and keep you safe. It's constantly asking one question and one question only.
Am I safe here? Am I okay here? Now, when you layer that with high level leadership, listen, the big decisions, the public visibility, the financial responsibility, the weight of the people, the payroll, the outcomes, and the consequences, listen, high level leadership. It asks a lot of your nervous system. It asks you to stay alert longer than what [00:08:00] might feel natural.
It'll ask you to assess risk without all of the information that you might need, and it'll ask you to make decisions that carry real consequences. While you remain composed while holding onto the things that are very uncertain, at any point in time in your business, if you've been doing all the right things, but still feel like you're carrying more weight than you should, it's not your strategy, it's your pattern.
There's a hidden way that you lead that shaping your money, your success, and your peace. And until you see it, you'll keep working harder than you have to. The Ascension archetypes quiz shows you in just three minutes what's been driving your business behind the scenes and what needs to shift so that you can finally experience the overflow, your desiring.
It's fast, it's free, and it will give you the language for why things feel harder than they should right now. Go now to move to millions quiz.com to find out which archetype is [00:09:00] running your business. Today. Hey, I hate to interrupt the goodness that's happening right now in this episode, but I need you to do me a quick favor.
If this episode is blessing your life and business right now, will you take a few moments and rate and review the show your words, help more millions minded entrepreneurs find us and step into their next level? All right, thank you so much. Let's get back into the conversation 'cause we're just getting started.
And when the nervous system is doing its job in environments like that, it begins to adapt. You become vigilant. You learn how to override the sensations that you might feel, and you stay functional even when you're overwhelmed or burnt out, not because anything has gone wrong. Mm-hmm. But because your system is trying to keep you safe in a role that never truly turns off, it starts to weigh heavy on you.
Most leaders were trained to override themselves [00:10:00] long before they were trained to listen to their bodies and what is being said. And as a result, we have this crazy dichotomy that happens and things start to get a little iffy. It begins to change everything and we wanna make sure. That you understand that because this season, a very pivotal season here on the Move to Millions podcast is really about getting to the heart of what is keeping you from seven figures.
And the core truth is that success can absolutely outpace embodiment. Most leaders don't wanna hear this. They never actually get into rooms where this is being talked about. But the fact is you can build an extraordinary life while slowly disconnecting from your own internal experience. Not because you don't care, but because success rewards adaptation, not embodiment.
You learn to perform when you're needed, like a light switch. You learn to produce under pressure. You learn to carry responsibility, [00:11:00] and you learn to anticipate what is required next of you. And over time, those skills, they become reflexes, useful reflexes, powerful reflexes, but reflex of living. It comes at a cost to who you are and which you most desire for your life experience, because the more often you override sensation, emotion, and instinct in the service of performance, the harder it becomes to feel yourself when things finally slow down.
That is often where I observe leaders saying things like, I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't even know what I want anymore. I feel numb when I truly should be fulfilled, or I have everything that I ask for, but I don't feel connected to it. Now, this is not discontent. This is disembodiment. And I wanna be so clear with you, this disconnection does not mean that [00:12:00] something is wrong with you.
It means that the external has actually outgrown the internal. Your life expanded and your identity did not yet catch up with it. This is a lag that so often I talk to so many clients about this, that lag creates distance, not failure, not numbness. Distance, and before you know it, there's this great chasm between where you truly desire to be and how you desire to feel and what you are experiencing in your life.
Instead. This and understanding it and giving language to it is so important because the language that you need to articulate what's going on is equally as important. Now, what many high level leaders experience is not burnout? Although burnout is absolutely a thing, it's actually boredom. It's what I call internal homelessness.[00:13:00]
Now, you might recall that in the last episode I introduced you to internal homelessness. Internal homelessness is what happens when your identity has learned how to succeed with at the same time learning how to have it land in your body, in your life experience. We've all heard the saying, your body keeps score.
And when your body is not keeping score of what's happening in your life, that distance grows. You'll start moving from role to role, from decision to decision, from responsibility to responsibility. You're literally acting on autopilot. And when you rarely pause long enough to return to yourself, it's not because you don't want to, it's because your system has learned that stopping is not safe.
So what do you do? You keep moving. Slowly subtly, you stop inhabiting your own life. It's literally like looking from the outside in on what's going on in your life experience and wondering how [00:14:00] in the world you got there. Now, there was a moment when I realized that this was happening to me. You know, I don't do theory, right?
Everything that I ever present to you is gonna be based on something I've experienced myself. Now, it was not dramatic and I, it wasn't that something was wrong, but I noticed that. Even in small moments that I should have felt grounded, my attention was already moving ahead when I should have paused long enough to celebrate myself, I was onto what's next?
Who needs me next? What needs me next? What can't be dropped? And I remember asking myself a question that startled me with its honesty. The question was simply this, when was the last time I felt at home and safe inside of my own body? Y'all. That question changed how I understood leadership because I realized something really sobering in that moment.
I had learned how to lead, how to lead my business, how to lead my team, how to build this movement, [00:15:00] how to do all of it without being taught how to remain present inside of myself as the stakes increased. Success had not betrayed me, but it had required more self abandonment than I actually realized.
Here's what I want you to know and understand. I want you to hear me. The realization that I came into didn't mean that I was broken. It meant that I was adapting, and the way that we adapt under pressure is not random. It is shaped by how we are wired. The same success that pulls one leader into over-functioning pulls another into control, another into invisibility, another into performance.
And that pattern looks different for every single person, but the disconnection underneath of the pattern is exactly the same. This is why the next part of this conversation really, really matters, and I wanna make sure that you get it because once you see how this shows up for [00:16:00] you, you can stop trying to fix it, thinking that something is wrong, and instead you can begin to lean into it.
If you haven't figured it out by now, I am talking about your ascension archetype. You know, I created the ascension archetype quiz because I recognized that the clients that I was serving were all wired differently, and I wanted to be able to support them in the best possible way based on their wiring.
This disconnection shows up differently based on which archetype you have, right? I want you to know and understand how you are wired and how it's impacting how you lead. Among other things that it will show you as you get into understanding your archetype and how it's showing up in your various life experiences.
Now, if you have not taken the quiz yet, it's totally okay. It only will take you three minutes. So I invite you to go to move to millions quiz.com and take the quiz. It's gonna open you up to a whole new world as you continue on your, your trajectory to making millions. You'll be one of five [00:17:00] archetypes.
You'll be the performer, the producer, the path maker, the powerhouse, or the prophet. And depending upon how you are wired, your disconnection and those disconnection points will show up differently. For my performers, your life is a full expression of visibility and momentum, but when the lights go off, you can feel strangely empty and void.
Not because you lack depth, but because being seen. Replace being with yourself. You perform your presence so well that you forget how to actually experience being fully present in your own life. For my producers, your life runs because you do your systems work. People rely on you. Stability follows your leadership, but you rarely pause long enough to ask yourself how you are really doing and being.
You are always holding the container so no one else notices that [00:18:00] you've actually stopped showing up for yourself and being inside of your own life experience. For my path makers, your mind lives in the future. You see what's possible long before other people do, but your body often lags behind your vision, so you'll feel suspended between where you are.
Where you are going most of the time, you won't feel lost. Just Achor like you're not really there for my powerhouses. Your strength is actually so very unmistakable. You carry responsibility with resolve. I mean, you can do it, you're a powerhouse, but the thing to keep in mind is that strength can become a barrier to you being soft.
And tender when you need to inside of your own life experience. You're so used to being the one who holds everything together, that you rarely let yourself rest inside of your own life experience. [00:19:00] Yes, there is a reason, your strategy for. Feel stalled and I bet you didn't realize it's spiritual. Discover your divine wiring, which informs how you lead, where you sabotage, and how to shift in order to scale.
With the move to millions Ascension archetype quiz, in less than three minutes, you'll learn what's really blocking your money, your momentum, and your mission. Take the quiz today at Move to millions quiz.com. My bestselling book Move to Millions. The Proven framework to become a million dollar CEO with Grayson Ease instead of Hustling Grind is now available on Audible.
That's right. You can listen to Nugget After Nugget strategy after strategy, and chapter after chapter, designed to help you to position your business for seven figures with grace and ease instead of hustle and grind. Go to Audible today, today to get your audible copy of Move to [00:20:00] Millions. And for my prophets.
You feel deeply. You see clearly, but the weight of what you perceive can pull you inward. You can become a witness to the life that you were designed to live rather than actually actively participating in. And this is not because you're fully detached, but because. Being fully present can feel very overwhelming to you.
Now, regardless of which of which archetype is yours, it's important that you know and understand it. And if any of that felt uncomfortably accurate, then I want you to make sure you stay with me all season. I'm talking to you and archetype language because I want you to understand how you're wired. I want you to go and take the quiz and go deeper with it because this is probably gonna be the missing link to why you haven't made the move to millions yet.
Now I wanna be very clear with you right here, no strategy can fix this. Most structure won't restore a presence [00:21:00] and more money will not create embodiment. More success won't bring you back to yourself because this is not a problem of doing. It's problem of being and specifically of being with yourself again.
And that first and foremost is gonna require awareness, not effort. Want you to take a deep breath, riggle your shoulders. If you're starting to feel a little tension, this is exactly why understanding how you are wired really matters. Because when you do not understand and know your ascension archetype, you start to make assumptions.
And we all know what assuming means, right? You assume the way that you are feeling is wrong and that you'll begin to think that something or you in total are broken. But when you do understand and know how you are wired, you will finally have the language for why success has felt distant, and you'll begin [00:22:00] to put yourself in position to get back into alignment with yourself again.
That's why I created the Ascension archetype quiz, not to give you another label. Personality, but to give you a starting point, a way to understand how you learned to succeed and what it will take to feel at home again, as you grow your business to and beyond the seven figure mark, when you take the quiz, I promise you it is gonna unearth so much for you and for many leaders, it's the first moment that they realize that they're not disconnected.
Because they failed, they're disconnected because they adapted, because they went with what they knew and what was happening as they were moving really, really fast. Now, when you take the quiz, you'll immediately find out your archetype and you'll get some high level overview information about your archetype.
But I'm gonna invite you to go deeper. The first step to going deeper is to get the private podcast. After you listen to the private podcast, which is gonna break down how you actually sabotage, [00:23:00] based on our move to Millions method, you'll be given the opportunity to get the Divine Design report as well.
Now, I want you to understand that you can be successful and still feel disconnected from your own life. That paradox does not make you ungrateful, it just makes you human, and I want you to understand that there's nothing wrong with you, but you can begin to come back home to yourself and start to feel like your own sanctuary.
So in our next episode, we're gonna talk all about what money reveals, when it stops being the solution that we thought it would be. How all of this relates because money doesn't heal disconnection, it actually exposes it. Now until then, I want you to begin to do the work to come back into alignment with yourself.
And remember, there's nothing you need to fix. You just need to come back home. You need to breathe. Use some somatic practices. Put one hand on your heart, one hand on your belly, and just breathe in for four. Hold for four and release for four. Do that for a minimum of three times [00:24:00] and see how you feel.
Just keep checking in and scanning your body. Inside of our sanctuary program, we call this the safe method. Where you scan your body, you activate your nervous system, you flow using the words that speak kindly to what you wanna bring into your life experience, and then you embody and be it because you can feel safe.
You can be your own sanctuary. I'll see you guys next time. Take care. Thank you for tuning in to the Move to Millions podcast. Every legacy LED CEO has a divine design and yours is waiting to be revealed. Take the Ascension archetype quiz at move to millions quiz.com to uncover how you're wired. For wealth and what needs to shift to make your next move with grace and ease instead of hustle and grind.
And if this episode blessed you, do me a favor, subscribe, rate, and leave us a review. And always remember, millions are your birthright. And to access them, you [00:25:00] need only move.
