Ep 336 – Selena Soo: Rich Relationships
This episode is powered by Move to Millions Live 2025: BIGGER
Let’s be honest: the real flex isn’t your revenue—it’s your relationships. In this soul-shifting episode of the Move to Millions Podcast, Selena Soo joins me to unpack the real secret to scaling your business to and beyond seven figures: intentionally building, nurturing, and activating rich relationships.
If you’ve been throwing money at ads, chasing visibility, or stuck thinking “more marketing” is your next breakthrough—this conversation will snap you back to the truth. In today’s trust economy, it’s not about who knows you—it’s about who champions you behind closed doors. Selena’s new book Rich Relationships is a blueprint for creating the kinds of connections that fuel your legacy, not just your next launch.
We’re talking about the power of generosity, and why your richest currency is the relationships you build when no one’s watching. Buckle up, because this episode will radically shift how you approach business, leadership, and community forever.
Get your Move to Millions Podcast notebook ready—you’ll want to take notes on the lessons packed into this incredible conversation! Listen in to discover:
✔ How to build and nurture rich relationships that lead to exponential business growth without hustle or grind.
✔ How to create a generosity fund to deepen your network, elevate your brand, and leave a lasting impact.
✔ How to assess your current relationships through the lens of alignment, integrity, and mutual expansion.
✔ And so much more
This episode is a direct call to stop trying to scale alone and to start leveraging the power of aligned, authentic, and abundant relationships. Hit play and learn how to build the kind of network that doesn’t just support your next million—it builds your legacy.
Incredible One Enterprises, LLC is not responsible for the content and information delivered during the podcast interview by any guest. As always, we suggest that you conduct your own due diligence regarding any proclamations by podcast guests. Incredible One Enterprises, LLC is providing the podcast for informational purposes only.
- "During times of crisis, many assets depreciate—but rich relationships only get stronger."
- "Maintaining a relationship not rooted in your truth keeps you out of integrity."
- "Vulnerability is relatability—and it’s the gateway to real connection."
- "If you don't open up, people can't help you. Silence keeps you stuck; vulnerability sets you free."
- "A generosity fund is the smartest investment you’ll ever make in your business and your life."
- Am I nurturing the relationships that truly align with who I am becoming?
- Who are the people in my life I need to deepen my connection with—and who do I need to release?
- Am I showing up for others during their hard times—or only when it’s convenient?
- How can I create a generosity fund to intentionally invest in the people and relationships that matter most?
- Am I courageous enough to be vulnerable—and relatable—in both my life and leadership?
Move to Millions Wisdom Questions:
Favorite Quote: “Once a mind has been stretched it can’t return to it’s former dimension.” Oliver Wendell Holmes
Tool Selena Swears By On Her Own Move to Millions: Rich Relationships
Personal brand website: https://drdarnyelle.com/
Company website: https://incredibleoneenterprises.com/
Move to Millions website: https://movetomillions.com/
Selena Soo [00:00:00]:
I think I might have been that toxic person before I was that difficult person. It's like that gives other people permission to be like oh yeah, you know, sometimes I have been that person. And that's okay because if we resist who we are and we're not willing to look at ourselves, it's really hard to move through that and transform. If you are looking, you transform and grow. But I have a feeling that everyone who is tuned into your show and part of your community is someone who is a grower, right? Who want step into that best version of themselves.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:00:34]:
Did you know that only 1.9% of women entrepreneurs, 0.9% of black business owners, and just 0.5% of black women entrepreneurs ever cross the seven figure mark? That changes right here. If you are ready for high level, high income conversations about all things millions, your mission, your mindset, your methodologies, your mandate, your movement, your messaging, your marketing, your metrics, and of course your money. Just by listening, your income is going all the way up. Every week you'll hear powerful stories, transformational interviews and million dollar business growth insights to help you scale and sustain a seven figure business with grace and ease, not hustle and grind. I am your host, Dr. Darnyelle Jervey Harmon, award winning spiritual business growth strategist 8 entrepreneur and God Girl on a mission to help you experience abundance in your life because of your business. This is the Move to Millions podcast. Welcome home.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:01:45]:
Welcome back to another episode of the Move to Millions podcast. I am your host Dr. Darnyelle. OMG. I am so excited. Now y'all know if you are an OG listener of this show, you know I don't bring a lot of guests on here. I am always curating the best of the best to share with you and our guest today is one of those. You may have even heard this name before.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:02:15]:
Selena Soo is a seven figure business mentor who helps experts and authors reach millions with their message. Through Dozens of multi, six figure and seven figure launches, Selena has generated over 13 million in revenue in her first 10 years of business. She has also built more than 400 affiliate and referral partnerships. An expert in publicity, Selena has helped thousands of entrepreneurs, land media and places that include O the Oprah Magazine, Forbes, Business Insider, and the Drew Barrymore Show. She's a former New Yorker. She is living her dream life in sunny Puerto Rico. We'll put all of Selena's links in the chat. Let me just tell you this conversation is timely based on where we are right now in 2025.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:03:05]:
All of the muck and the mire that exists in the marketplace. This is the time to think about, to build and to nurture rich relationships that not just sound good coming off the tongue. Rich relationships. Oh my goodness. Selena has written a new, powerful book, a beautiful blueprint that will support you in building relationships, that will expand your reach and put more money in your bank account. It's really, really powerful. So I don't want to steal any more thunder from our conversation. We're going to jump into this interview with Selena sue about her new book, Rich Relationships, and I'll see you on the other side for some of my thoughts and some of the writer downers that I'm taking away from this powerful conversation.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:03:54]:
Grab your Move to Millions podcast notebook. Grab your favorite pen and beverage and let's jump into my conversation with Selena Sooe. Selena Sooe, I'm so excited to welcome you to the Move to Millions podcast. How are you today?
Selena Soo [00:04:11]:
I'm doing so well. Thank you for having me.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:04:15]:
Absolutely. I mean, we got an opportunity to meet at Jen Kem's event when she was here in New York last October, but we didn't really get to spend any time together. So I know that this conversation is going to be powerful and amazing and we'll be able to connect and learn a little bit more about each other as we have this powerful conversation. So thank you for taking time out of your busy life and schedule to come and to share with us. I wanna just jump straight in. We're gonna talk today about rich relationships. I love a good alliteration, so I'm so excited. But do me a quick favor.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:04:51]:
For the purpose of our listeners, what is a rich relationship? And then why do we all need them?
Selena Soo [00:04:57]:
Absolutely. So a rich relationship is a relationship that massively enriches the quality of your life. Right. And so different types of relationships that really help us up level personally and professionally. You know, I would say as entrepreneurs, all of us need other people telling others about our work. If we're the only one saying, hey, great at what I do, you know, the message is only going to go so far. Right. And not only promoters, but we need people like mentors to give us those shortcuts, confidants who we can be our messy self with and peers and all kinds of people so we can just go so much farther when we have other people who want to see us win and support us on the journey.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:05:39]:
Yeah, I love that. And I know that you have a list of people that we should have as our rich relationships. So before you tell me that, you already mentioned a Couple, mentors, confidants. I really want to talk about the confidant because we get to be messy with them. But before we go there, like, how did this come about? Like, tell us a little bit of the backstory that led you into recognizing the significance of a rich relationship. So much so that you're creating a whole movement around it. And you've written this really, really powerful book. Tell us a little bit about how we got to the point of the book.
Selena Soo [00:06:11]:
Yeah, absolutely. I think that I always intuitively knew that rich relationships were like rocket ships and they're the fastest way get from where we are to where we want to be with everything we want to achieve in life or every problem that we want to solve, every struggle, every pain point. The answer is, what is the rich relationship I need right now? So that was always something that I was excited to share with people because I was naturally actually good at building rich relationships. But I'll say that there is one area that I really struggled and that was, you know, letting the wrong people into my life. Right. Sometimes there are people that, on the surface, they seemed amazing and there was a lot of synergy and it felt exciting. But then over time, as I got to discover more about these individuals, maybe there wasn't like a match, right. Whether someone was emotionally volatile or they weren't someone that followed through on their word, all kinds of things where over time you realize that you're not values aligned.
Selena Soo [00:07:07]:
And I think that for all of us, it's not our fault because there are just people out there in the world that are not the right match for us. But the thing is, once we discover that this is not truly a rich relationship or a healthy relationship, we need to have the courage, the discipline to end that relationship or start to remove ourselves from the relationship. And that was something I wasn't very good at. And I remember a colleague of mine, Sherry Salata, saying, maintaining a friendship not rooted in your truth keeps you out of integrity. And when I heard that, I had shivered. Right.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:07:42]:
Hold on, Selena, you going too fast. You got. You going too fast. We got to back the train up because that was really, really good. And I want you to share that quote from your friend again. If you love the Move to Millions podcast and the Move to Millions book is blowing your mind, then you have got to join us for Move to Millions Live. All the details are waiting for you to secure your seat at Move to Millionsevent.com My bestselling book, Move to Millions, the Proven Framework to become a Million Dollar CEO With Grace and Ease instead of Hustle and Grind is on Audible. That's right.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:08:21]:
You can listen to nugget after nugget, strategy after strategy, and chapter after chapter designed to help you to position your business for seven figures with Grace and ease instead of Hustle and Grind. Go to Audible today to get your audible copy of Move to Millions. And this time, let's let it breathe for a second, because I know that there's going to be somebody who's listening right now that's in a relationship that is out of alignment with who they are and who they be at their course. Okay, so say it one more time.
Selena Soo [00:08:53]:
Yeah, absolutely. So it's maintaining a friendship not rooted in your truth keeps you out of integrity. And I remember when I heard that, and I just kind of, like, looked around, I'm like, wow, I have a handful of relationships that are keeping me out of integrity. Some of my closest relationships, not because I was a bad person, but rather, there was that misalignment. There were ways in which they were acting that were perhaps disrespectful to me or others or the way in which they were operating in the world. It was hard for me to really be that close friend, that peer, that cheerleader, that supporter, when it was like, wow. And so, yeah, I really had to, like, take a hard look at myself and just think about, okay, I need to, like, shift things. And so, you know, when you write a book, you really want to be the embodiment of the message.
Selena Soo [00:09:44]:
And on some level, I have. But there was this other area where I really had to do that cleanup work. And. And that was three years ago where I really did, like, a big clearing. And thankfully, the only relationships I have in my life are with, you know, ones that are healthy and supportive and positive. But it's something that we have to actively do. It doesn't just happen.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:10:06]:
I love that. And I think. I think people get that intuitively in their personal, like, romantic relationships. Right. But I feel like there's this whole missing piece when we don't allow that same energy to carry over into even business relationships. And what I love about this quote, maintaining a relationship that is not rooted in your truth, impacting your integrity.
Selena Soo [00:10:31]:
Yeah.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:10:31]:
Is it forces us to always be in alignment with self and always evaluating if the people that we are spending our time with are making us integrous beings. Right. And I think for the journey I'm on right now, like, I'm really doing. I'm focused on my inner work. Right. I believe that you've Got to work on your inner game at three times the rate you work on your outer game. And so for me, it's. It's about being in a constant and perpetual state of alignment and always feeling the flow of energy, being able to move freely through my vessel at all times.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:11:06]:
And so what I love about this question that you asked, right? And then having the courage and the discipline to say, no, this relationship is not in alignment with who I be in this season and I've got to get myself out of it. Like, I feel like that's such an important mile marker as an entrepreneur, as a CEO, as a leader. You know, our listeners are either they're already making seven figures or they are wanting to make seven figures. I would love if you could talk just a little bit more about how this aided your own journey. I know you said this was three years ago and I know you are a multiple seven figure CEO doing amazing work out in the world with your impact millions brand. Like, how did this process help you to further solidify your business, your financial legacy, the work that you do? And it probably wasn't even tied to the money, but I imagine that it helped to improve your money at the same time.
Selena Soo [00:12:07]:
Yeah, absolutely. It's all interconnected. I think that when you let these relationships into your life that aren't healthy for you, then you don't feel safe. And so, you know, there was a time when I was actually in a quite a toxic, emotionally abusive relationship. And I wrote about that and I know it helped a lot of people and I had extricated, you know, myself from that situation. And then I found myself in a toxic situation in my own business where I had someone on the team who was, you know, an amazing person. She was really charming, she was really kind. She was a great supporter of mine.
Selena Soo [00:12:43]:
She was someone that helped, you know, really support bringing millions into my business. But she was someone who from time to time would have a temper and it wouldn't happen very often, but when it did, it was very disruptive to the whole team and was very condescending and it would, you know, take us all aback. And it was like, you know, we can make excuses for someone like, oh, they're going through a hard time, this is happening in their family, this and that. But at the end of the day, like, bottom line, you know, because I was allowing that, like I didn't feel safe in my own business and I was being a role, bad role model to my team to see that, you know, I was allowing it. And so eventually I was able to get this person out of my company. But, you know, when we are not in right relationship with ourselves and therefore others, then it also sends a confusing signal to the people around us, from our friends and to our customers and so forth. And so, yeah, I think that once you remove people that are just aren't right for you from your life, that you feel empowered and free and ultimately you're able to trust yourself. Because, you know, I would say, you know, a big part of business is really opening up, you know, being in communication, people sharing what's going on with you, from inspiring your team to your customers.
Selena Soo [00:14:00]:
But in order to open up, you have to feel safe, which means being really intentional about who is allowed in the circle and who the circle is for.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:14:10]:
Absolutely. I love all of that, especially because I know personally I've experienced similar things. Right. There was probably a point in time in my journey where I was probably the toxic person. Like, where I was the one who was condescending and mean and all of that, because I didn't love myself. I didn't realize who I was. Right. And so as I've begun to do this work, I've noticed that some of the people in my life were who I used to be.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:14:38]:
And I'm like, oh, no, you got to go. You don't have to go home, but you got to get up out of here. Because I'm doing this work and I'm becoming a version of myself that I can smile at and get excited about when I look at her in the mirror and I'm learning how to process my emotions instead of throwing up on people and all of those things. Like, I pride myself. I remember I had an assistant years ago, and we, you know, every time I hire an assistant, we would create a safe word, right? And I had one assistant that the safe word probably was used way too much. I'm not proud of it, but it's part of my story, right? And then I remember hiring another assistant years later, and she was transitioning from the company because she got pregnant and decided she was gonna be a stay at home mom. And we were doing her exit interview, and she's like, you know what I really love is that we never had to use that safe word that we established. Like, you always treated me like I was an important part of the team and I was a human.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:15:30]:
And you never talked down to me and you never made me feel. So it just. I love that you're giving everybody who's gonna get this book and even those who will listen to this Conversation. We're having right now a filter through which they can evaluate their current relationships and make sure that the people that they are spending time with do make them feel safe. Because you and I both know that your nervous system and your ability to feel safe is gonna regulate your money and how much of it is actually flow into your life experience.
Selena Soo [00:15:59]:
Yeah, that was a safe word. Basically, if either of you had, like, crossed a line, it's like, we're gonna say this word so that we can, like, reset.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:16:08]:
Yeah, it was. Because at that particular point in time in my life, like I said, I didn't really love myself very much. I was very hard. I spent a lot of time in my masculine energy. You know, I'm out of corporate, where they talk to you however they want to talk to you, and you just kind of eat it, right? And so that was kind of the energy that I brought into my company in the early days. And because I was unhappy, everybody else might have been unhappy. And I didn't even. At that particular point in time, I didn't even really have a filter or a recollection that that was the way I was showing up.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:16:41]:
And that's what I was being. It was like my excuse was, well, that's just who I am, and you just have to like it. Right? But as I started to do this inner work, I was like, oh, no, no, no, that's not good. And I want to always be a picture of abundance, right? If I say I'm abundance, then abundance doesn't talk down, demean, or belittle. So I wanna make sure that that's the energy that I'm putting out. And so as I evolved, the evolution of my leadership and the culture within my organization has evolved. And I think, you know, without knowing to call them rich relationships, a lot of this work that I have done, I could see how that work is going to produce and has produced rich relationships for me. So I get it.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:17:27]:
And I. And I hope that the people who are listening right now, like, they can run their relationships through this filter to be able to evaluate whether or not they do feel safe. Safe, seen, heard. So that all of that energy is the energy from which they build their businesses to the next level.
Selena Soo [00:17:44]:
Right? Yeah. As you're talking, it's just making me think about the, you know, importance of emotional regulation. Right. Not just, you know, making sure that we're not with emotionally volatile people. People, but we're not the emotionally volatile ones as well. And I think for those of us who are in the trenches with us, Building a business, it's not an easy thing. And there's extremely stressful things that we have to deal with around cash flow or difficult clients and market shifts. And there's every reason why we would be stressed out.
Selena Soo [00:18:15]:
And not everybody has to bear the same amount of stresses as us on the team. That's why, you know, when you were like, oh, I, you know, I love the confidant piece. Like, yes, yes, yes. Like, as entrepreneurs, we all need the confidant because, you know, our team is not going to be the confidant. Not the level of, like, someone who's just for us, like an executive coach or a therapist or a best friend. But, yeah, running a business is very emotionally challenging, and it truly takes everything out of you. And I think that it's also important to, like, forgive ourselves and just kind of acknowledge, like, okay, I'm having a hard day, you know, so it doesn't happen too often. But if I feel like I, you know, spoke to a team member in a way that was, like, a little intense or just like, you know, not in a way that I would want to, I'd just be like, hey, I just wanted to just acknowledge that, you know, I would.
Selena Soo [00:19:05]:
I was charged up today. Or, you know, whatever it is, like, whether I apologize or I acknowledge it, sometimes I don't apologize in that, like, I'm human. And sometimes I'm going to be, like, a little, you know, things are going to hit me. I'm going to be a little emotional. You know, obviously across the line I'm going to apologize. But I think my team just appreciates the openness. Or even if I'm like, you know, I'm going through a really hard time. I'm really being, like, mentally, like, stretched right now.
Selena Soo [00:19:31]:
And, you know, this is just kind of where I'm at. Like, I'm in a period where I have not been sleeping as much. I have all these things I'm figuring out. And I just want you to know that if it seemed like I was charged today, I had nothing to do with you. It had to do with, like, me and what I'm navigating. Yeah, that just, like, really helps people. Because I don't think people need someone to be perfect, but they do want to feel respected and in communication, understanding of what they're going through.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:19:54]:
Absolutely. Yeah, I would agree. I. I know in making the decision personally with. Within my team to be vulnerable and transparent and maybe to a fault and maybe more than I should, but I've made that choice because I believe that you know, people support what they help to create. And if there is a wall down, you know, I'm no one's boss. Technically, yes, I'm the one signing the check, but I don't operate in that energy I up in, right. In the energy that we are a team.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:20:22]:
Even when I know I'm the one who's ultimately making the decision, I still present everything to the team so that they get to have buy in and they get to participate in the decision making process. And it has helped so much that it has created a culture that we can all feel comfortable in right then. Going back to that need to feel safe inside of our businesses and with our teams and, and in all of the relationships that we choose to have, I think that that is really, really important. Now you mentioned that rich relationships you believe is the most valuable currency. Can you share a little bit more about why you feel that way? And then I might have a follow up question after that.
Selena Soo [00:21:02]:
Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, when we think about the different investments that we can make, right, in business and life, you know, people put their money in the stock market, they put it in real estate. But here's the thing, when you put the money in a stock, the stock market, let's say, you know, 200 bucks, right? After a year maybe you make, you know, $14, a 7% return. Okay, great, but not life changing. I put my money in real estate thinking like, okay, this is a sure thing. This is going to be, you know, rental side income. And then things shift. These like apartments pop up and then all of a sudden I'm like losing six grand a month.
Selena Soo [00:21:37]:
And about a year ago I invested $6,000 in Facebook ads, or actually 7,000, which is a small amount compared to what I've invested before. But you know, I remember that particular time and not really producing any return. You know, yes, some people opted in, but I didn't get any sales and I wasn't sure if I was getting the right people. And I remember thinking, you know, instead of putting my money into Facebook ads, what if I just invested my money into rich relationships, which is how I grow my business anyways. And so I thought about the people in my world who, you know, were struggling. And when people are like, oh, how do I know if someone's struggling? I think that I would challenge you and say, you probably do know. You know, if you're living in the United States, you probably know people that were affected by the wildfires in la. You probably know people whose homes were affected by hurricanes.
Selena Soo [00:22:24]:
You probably know People who are going through divorce, people who are having struggles in their business, shifting things, changing their business and personal identity. So when people are in pain, I really believe, like, don't be the last to show up. Be the first to show up. Right? How can you initiate?
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:22:39]:
If you love the Move to Millions podcast and the Move to Millions book is blowing your mind, then you have got to join us for Move to Millions Live. All the details are waiting for you to secure your [email protected] if you've got Move to Millions the book you need Move to Millions the planner. It's the perfect companion as you plan, prepare and position to profit to and beyond the million dollar mark. Grab your planner today at Move to Millions planner.com and so something that I.
Selena Soo [00:23:14]:
Did is I started working with a money coach because there was a lot of volatility in my life with a real estate investment that went sour and just shifts in the marketplace. And I was telling everyone, like, you've got to work with this money coach. Like, she's so good at helping me with my personal finance. And people were just like, they were listening, but they weren't doing anything. And so I just went to my coach and I was like, hey, if I, like, like bought like bulk packages from you and just gave them to everyone that I thought could really benefit, like, what would that cost me? And she agreed to this really, like, rock bottom rate of $200 to do a couple of sessions, also understanding that sometimes it can take a couple of sessions before someone is that ongoing client. And so I started gifting money sessions to my friends. And I remember one person saying, wow, Jenna Rose showed me how I could save fifteen hundred dollars a month, right? Saving fifteen hundred dollars a month. That's 18,000 a year.
Selena Soo [00:24:09]:
That's 36,000 over two years. Someone else was like, wow, she made me realize I was entitled to all this extra money during a divorce and all these different stories, right? And so when you think about, you know, yes, you can put money into, and I'm not saying don't, like still put money to the stock market, but I think people don't think about putting money into people into relationships and like initiating and being like, I'm choosing to invest in you, whether someone's got a going to buy $200 worth of books, I'm going to put $200 into your Kickstarter. I'm going to put $200 into that nonprofit. I'm going to gift you $200 worth of coaching with my coach. Right. And those examples like that $200 translated to, you know, $18,000 for someone over a one year period. So it strengthened my relationship with that person. She had obviously a huge financial benefit.
Selena Soo [00:25:01]:
And then with the coach, she has probably a client for life now. So it was a three way win. And so during times of crisis, you know, many assets depreciate, but during times of crisis, rich relationships only get stronger. And so I really encourage people to think of this idea of creating a generosity fund where you're actually earmarking money to invest in people you care about. Right? So that money earmark, right? So you're like, aha, I love that sense.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:25:29]:
That was one of my questions was what is a generosity fund? So I'm glad you just, just started talking about that.
Selena Soo [00:25:34]:
Okay, so like I love this.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:25:36]:
Okay, say more, say more about this generosity fund. I love it.
Selena Soo [00:25:39]:
Right. So some of the people that you might invest in might be your team members, right? It could be part of, whether it's part of like bonuses or like surprise gifts, when people go above and beyond or they've been with you for a certain amount of time. It could be for star clients, you know, it could be for, you know, friends and colleagues and people that have supported you in your business. Like, the thing is, it's just funny how easy it is to really make a difference and make someone's day. I had a friend and she was part of this Mastermind that costs $50,000 a year. And she was in it for several years. And you know, the whole, you know, hope was that through this mastermind she was going to get connected and be supported and all of that. And when it came time for her book launch, the Mastermind leader, you know, didn't really do anything.
Selena Soo [00:26:26]:
You know, made her kind of have to really work hard to try to make her requests and ultimately never truly supported her. And when I think about, okay, she was paying that person $5,000 a month, like this person could have just like been like, I'm gonna buy a thousand dollars worth of books or whatever it is. And that would have just like completely made her day. Right? And so it's like sometimes, you know, people just don't realize, like just invest a little bit of money, 200, $550 into someone during their time of need. And that really, really helps solidify the relationship. So you know, in our business we have money for technology, we have money to travel to events, we have money for team kind of like the day to day needs. But why not carve out a little Bit of money. Like if you're, you know, a million dollar business, 1% of revenue is $10,000.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:27:16]:
Yeah.
Selena Soo [00:27:17]:
Percent could be your generosity fund or maybe it's a fee. Or if you're in a place where you don't have so much money to give. Well, could your generosity fund include your time, you know, your energy, your creativity? Like there's different things. Or it could be time with other team members if you're short on time. Right. But I think that if we create these generosity funds and it's like automatic, like we have that money set aside, then we're going to be able to really, you know, be like swift in taking action when people need us. And people will remember when you show up for them when nobody else did. Right.
Selena Soo [00:27:49]:
That's the way to create relationships where someone is like, I'm never going to forget, like, how that person made me feel because they really showed up for me during a time of need.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:27:57]:
I love that. And I love, like, it doesn't have to be this arduous amount of money, right. But just that, like as you were sitting there, I was like, oh, you know, like I have an account in my bank accounts where one that's for tithing. So I put 10% of every dime that comes into the company into this tithing account and then I tithe wherever I get inspiration. So I could easily take 1% of what's in my tithing account and make that in my generosity fund. Or I could start a whole nother account that's just for generosity. I love that. Oh, that's so good.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:28:33]:
Oh, that's a juicy nugget, Selena. I love it. I just. The whole premise of relationships, I know right now as the market has changed, we're kind of in this trust economy, right. Where we're looking for reasons and ways to heighten our trust of individuals, of markets, of industries, of lots of different things. And if it feels like what you're saying is that this is a really easy way, like as people, we're relating anyway, right? One of our basic, most innate needs is community, looking for a place to belong. And so we can create this microcosm of support based on these rich relationships and giving more than we're looking to take is what I feel like I'm hearing from you as well. Like, judge just being a giver and letting people know that they matter.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:29:23]:
Like, I just, I just love that so much. And I love it makes me feel warm and fuzzy right now. And so I just love that that is the energy that is Ruminating from this book that you have coming out, rich Relationships, which is just amazing. So I feel like we've answered this question, but you might have a different answer from me. So I'm gonna ask why this book and why this book now?
Selena Soo [00:29:46]:
Yeah, absolutely. So you were just talking about the importance of trust. And I used to say people to people that trust is the most valuable currency. Like it's more powerful than attention. Like you can scream and get someone's attention, but that doesn't mean you trust them, that you'll follow them. But now I would say that actually rich relationships are the most valuable currency because I can look at someone from afar and think that they're a trustworthy person. That having trust doesn't mean that we're going to show up for each other of need. Right.
Selena Soo [00:30:16]:
But when you have a rich relationship, it means that, you know, you can call on that person, that you care about that person.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:30:22]:
If you love the Move to Millions podcast and the Move to Millions book is blowing your mind, then you have got to join us for Move to Millions live. All the details are waiting for you to secure your seat at Move to Millions event. Want to know what it's like to work with me and the incredible Factor University coaching team? You can get started today with the Move to Millions 90 day business growth planner. 90 days at a time, you'll be setting your business on a trajectory that will make the Move to Millions happen much faster for you. It's got everything that you need to track. Every strategy, every sale, all of your KPIs, as well as your self care and life transformational needs, needs. We made sure we left nothing out of this amazing planner. And by accessing the planner, you'll get a behind the scenes view of what it's like to work with me and my team.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:31:16]:
Go grab yours [email protected] and so I.
Selena Soo [00:31:21]:
Think now more than ever we need those rich relationships, right? When we have those rich relationships, we can be the richest person in the room even if we don't have the money. Even if, like our life is up and down, you know, I mean, people have asked me, you know, have rich relationships improved your life and business? And I mean, they have done a lot for me. I literally can tie eight figures of revenue directly to rich relationships. So there's that for sure from a business perspective. But I would say that, you know, when we're going about our business in life and we're going through the ups and downs, to me it just means everything. To have relationships that are real, where I can be my full, messy self with that. There are other people who have my back and are witnessing my transformation and who want to see me. And actually something that I have been noticing is that right now, because a lot of people are going through different changes, you know, shifting their business models, what they're known for.
Selena Soo [00:32:18]:
Sometimes they're having to shift who is on their team. There's all kinds of like identity related things that are hard for people. I know there are some people, understandably, who shut down and they hide and they're not like sharing the extent of their problems. And I don't think that you should be sharing your problems with everybody, but I think have like an inner circle of people where it's like they should know what's going on because if you don't open up to someone, then they can't help you. Like, or even in a mentor, mentee relationship, if someone is your mentee and they're hiding like half the story, while there's only so deep that you can go with them and like, fix whatever is going on with them. Or they could be a friend or a peer. And so for me, with my closest friends, like, they know everything. And I think that it feels so freeing to know that like, people are here for you.
Selena Soo [00:33:11]:
Not just in the good times, but also in the hard times. And yeah, I just, I just see so much of it that people are not. They're afraid to be vulnerable and they don't realize that vulnerability is strength.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:33:26]:
Yeah.
Selena Soo [00:33:27]:
Times like these. And vulnerability is also relatability. And that's something that I really encourage you to do. You have to be vulnerable and you have to show people the fullness of who you are and your life experience and what you're going through right now to really receive the riches from your rich relationships.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:33:44]:
That is so good. As you were talking of all the things you said which were powerful, what I wrote down was vulnerability is relatability. And I'm like pausing because I'm thinking about what that just did for me. Like you saying that just now. Oh, I get it. That makes sense, right? I'm the type of person where I am vulnerable, I am transparent. My whole life is an open book. I believe that the things that I've been through, I went through them so that I can prevent someone else from going through it.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:34:20]:
And so I share, probably overshare, the things that are happening in my life. But what I just heard with those specific words, vulnerability is relatability is. It's not necessarily Just me sharing so that I can be an example for other people. But it's what gives people a connection to me and a connection at every level. Right. Like, everybody isn't going to be my inner circle. Right. Everybody's not going to be my bestie.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:34:48]:
But even the people that are inside of my larger macro community, the more vulnerable I am, the more relatable I become. And it. So it creates a connection point for them to be able to see themselves inside of the experiences that I have and that I am talking about and sharing in the way that I'm sharing them. And what is. It's so powerful.
Selena Soo [00:35:10]:
It's so powerful. I also think that when you're vulnerable, it makes people accept themselves more and love themselves more. Like even when you were saying, I think I might have been that toxic person before I was that difficult person, it's like, like that gives other people permission to be like, oh, yeah, you know, sometimes I have been that person. And that's okay. Because if we resist who we are and we're not willing to look at ourselves, it's really hard to move through that and transform if you are looking, you know, to transform and grow. But I have a feeling that everyone who is tuned into your show and part of your community is someone who is a grower, right. Who wants to step into that best version of themselves.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:35:50]:
Yeah, absolutely. So I know the book is coming out soon and I know you have something special that you've created for people to get. What did you, I think you said four free chapters. So tell us a little bit about that where we can go and learn more about the book and all the details we need to have right now to make sure that we are ready to get our copies of Rich Relationships for everybody we want to have a rich relationship with or that we already have a rich relationship with.
Selena Soo [00:36:17]:
Absolutely, yeah. So the book Rich Relationships is all about helping you build a million dollar network for your business. And it shows you how to build the network, how to nurture it and how to activate it. Because some people are like, okay, I know how to build a network. I go to events, I know people. Okay, but you can know people. But if you're not nurturing the relationship and deepening the relationship, then it's just superficial. Right.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:36:41]:
That's good.
Selena Soo [00:36:42]:
Other people are like, okay, I have these like nurtured connections, but I don't know how to ask for help. Well, if you never ask for help and support, then you haven't unlocked the power. So it really goes through like those three Aspects and talked about today. Like, it really has a lot around, like, your own personal development to build those rich relationships. And. Yeah, how to really unlock their full potential. So they can go to richrelationshipsBook.com/darnyelle so richrelationshipsBook.com/Darnyelle and they can get the first four chapters of the book for free. Thing that they're going to get there is they're going to get my rich relationship scripts. Because as people read through the book, they're like, oh, my gosh. One of my favorite things is, like, the scripts, because a lot of communication is like, yeah, what are the words that I'm going to use? What are the words? Get someone to say yes, that makes someone feel more deeply connected to me. And also words to even say no sometimes, to protect yourself, to establish those boundaries. And so when they go to rich relationshipsbook.com/darnyelle they're going to get the first four chapters for free. And my 20 plus rich relationship.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:37:51]:
I love all of that. I'm excited. I cannot wait to get copies of the book. We'll talk offline, because if you have, like, a bulk kind of process, I'm like, oh, I want all my rich friends. All my rich relationship friends to get a copy of rich relationships. So I just think that this book is going to be a game changer for people. I'm so excited that you made the decision out of your own growth and evolution and recognition of the power of the core people inside of your life to write us a blueprint that we can utilize to build these relationships. Rich relationships.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:38:23]:
Because you're so right. Yeah. We can spend money on Facebook ads, and we. It's like. It's like the quote from Forrest Gump, right? Getting Facebook ads is like a box of chocolates. You never know if you're gonna close. Right. You never know what you're gonna spend that money.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:38:38]:
But I know that I can go and build a relationship with someone, and through our connection and alignment, I can be presented to their community and their community rise up and take advantage of whatever it is that I might offer. Offer and vice versa. So this is powerful, I think, especially for where we are right now for such a time as this. Understanding the significance of relationships, how to make them rich, how to. You said build them, nurture them, and activate them is going to be a game changer for your business, for your life, for your bottom line, for your ability and desire to get your business to and beyond seven figures. So, Selena, I just want to say thank you again, you guys. You want to go to richrelationshipbook.com forward/darnyelle. Of course.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:39:23]:
We'll put all of that in the show notes to make it really easy for you to go there to get. I want to challenge you to go and to get 10 copies. If you don't have 10 rich relationships right now, that's okay. I want you to have these copies because we're going to set an intention that you're going to build. You're going to connect with 10 people that you can create your own rich relationship circle with. And once you've made a person that you want to deepen the connection of your relationship with, you're gonna send them a copy of Rich Relationship. So if you guys agree with me, then that's what we're all gonna do. I'm probably gonna buy more than 10 copies because I've probably got 10 rich relationships right now that I wanna continue to nurture and activate so that we can do life together, so that we can transform the world together.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:40:09]:
So again, Selena, thank you so much, first and foremost, for being you. Thank you very much for taking the time to write this book and to create this amazing blueprint. And then thank you for sharing your time and space with me to teach us about rich relationships and to give us a resource that we can leverage in order to build relationships that will be our most valuable currency and truly shift the trajectory of our lives and how we build our business. I say thank you. I see you. I'm grateful for you, and I appreciate you.
Selena Soo [00:40:40]:
Thank you.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:40:41]:
Go ahead.
Selena Soo [00:40:42]:
I just want to say one final thing. This is one of my favorite quotes ever. And it is the mind, when stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions. And I truly think it's gonna happen when you read the book. Because here's the thing with relationships, this is not like, oh, when I reach this phase of business. No, this is every day. You are in with people every day of your life. And so it's a truly a super skill.
Selena Soo [00:41:07]:
When you know how to do this right, everything is gonna be so much easier. And so it's a gift to yourself, but it truly is a gift to your friends because it's going to help them up level. And truly, if they take in the ideas and actually execute and implement on them, their business is never going to be the same.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:41:22]:
Yeah. Thank you so much for interjecting that. I love that Oliver Wendell Holmes quote. It is. Every time I get a new idea or paradigm, I always remind myself of that quote. So I think it's really really powerful that you shared it. I mean, the book is going to be amazing. That quote right there is powerful.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:41:38]:
And then the ability to build relationships, being the tool that takes. Takes all of our listeners to their seven figures is beyond. It's such a powerful gift. So again, I say thank you for being here, thank you for writing the book, and thank you so much for sharing. I appreciate it, and we'll see you guys next time. Take care. I told you it was gonna be good, didn't I? Oh, my gosh. Such a powerful concept.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:42:02]:
There were so many things that I wrote down. I've literally got, like, three pages of notes. So I'm probably. I wanna share all of them with you, because as she was talking, my brain was just. Just percolating with idea after idea after idea. So first and foremost, a rich relationship is a relationship that massively enriches the quality of your life. She said, rich relationships are like rocket ships. I love that.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:42:24]:
I love that double play alliteration as well. When you are in any scenario, you can ask yourself, what is the rich relationship that I need most right now? I love that. And I loved how she talked about the fact that sometimes we find ourselves in relationships that are not aligned. And when we get the courage and the discipline to end those relationships, we can actually set ourselves up to get into a rich relationship. This quote, maintaining a relationship that is not rooted in your truth impacts your integrity. I love that. And unhealthy relationships impact your safety. So we got to talk a little bit out about your nervous system.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:43:01]:
And your nervous system is the key to you being able to make lots of money. When you're not in right relationships with yourself, it sends a signal to others and informs how they treat you. Mm. And when she said, when people are in pain, be the first to show up. And even the story she told about how her friend, who was in this highfalutin mastermind and the mentor, didn't even support her book launch. And then what about that generosity fund? Have you already started to think about how much money you're going to earmark for your generosity fund? I love all of that. All of it was so good. And then, of course, the one thing that actually made me tear up a little was vulnerability is relatability.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:43:45]:
So I want you to make sure that you go to richrelationshipbook.com. Darnyelle, remember, we're getting 10 copies to support this powerful book, this powerful concept, because vulnerability is gonna create self love and self awareness. That's gonna help you to build relationships that expand your reach and your revenue. I cannot wait to hear how this book has blessed you again. Rich relationships book.com forward/darnyelle, you'll get the first four chapters and her Rich Relationship scripts. I can't wait to get my copy. Make sure that you get yours. Do me a favor.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:44:21]:
When you're listening to this episode, tag me in your story. Tag me and Selena. Her information will be in the show. Notes notes so that we can vibe with you online and get closer to building those rich relationships. I'll see you guys next time. Take care. Thank you for joining me for the Move to Millions podcast. The way I see it, you deserve a business that generates millions.
Darnyelle Jervey Harmon [00:44:44]:
We'd love to have you join us in May at Move to Millions LIVE to help you prepare, plan and position your company for the million dollar mark. Visit Visit Move to Millions event now to grab your seat. If you enjoyed our time together, do yourself a favor, head on over to iTunes. Subscribe rate and leave us a review. Until next time. Remember, millions are your birthright and to access them, you need only move. See you next time. Take care.
